Watchingmyfigure
Gainesville, United States
Today, I was so hungry and broke that I resorted to drinking salad dressing. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
97
United States
Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
imamess
Rockville, United States
Today, I was going to put some Italian dressing on my salad when I noticed that the oil and vinegar weren't mixed. After putting the cap back on, I shook as hard as I could. The cap came flying off and I showered myself in the dressing. FML
Anonymous
Bend, United States
Today, feeling too lazy to cook dinner, I bought a bagged salad from a low-end store. I dumped the contents into a bowl; the first thing that fell out was a dead mouse. Bon appetit. FML
Anonymous
Lima, Peru
Burgers? In this economy?
Today, I was hungry and I was trying to buy the cheapest burger at Wendy's, but I'm so broke that I had to call my friends to lend me some money. Ugh. FML
ash
United States
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
adamclmns
United States
Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Anonymous
United States
Lunch is on me
Today, to eat healthy, I made myself a salad for lunch. While shaking the salad container, the lid popped off, sending lettuce, cucumbers and dressing all over my cubicle. My boss walked in just in time to see me wiping vinaigrette off of my keyboard. FML
failureatlife
Ponchatoula, United States
Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
Talis
Eureka, United States
Today, at work, a drunk demanded a salad dressing we don't have. He marched into my kitchen and demanded I make it for him. When I said we didn't have the ingredients, he pushed the microwave over and stormed out. My boss came in and wrote me up for being "pushy and rude to customers". FML
Top comments
WCARlover 35
I'm sorry OP :( there are quite a few foods you can get for right around a dollar. Beans, oats, tuna, bananas, rice, pasta are all great options, some of which still offer some nutrition. Best of luck, and I hope times get better for you soon.
Tripartita 45
When the zombie apocalypse comes, you'll be the "vegan" option available to the undead. One zombie will ask another, "how the **** can you still consider yourself vegan AND eat human brains?" to which the second will reply, "it's all about secondly and tertiary consumers, dude."
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Comments (27)
gunnerblaster 21
As having been in a rough spot, I would recommend considering donating plasma if you're that rough on food.
Royness 8
Been in a similar situation. Nothing sucks more than when your fridge is empty with nothing but condiments. I have also had plain pasta boiled with nothing. No salt or sauces. That was the worst. Next time you get some cash, try grabbing some potatos. You can do a lot with them and you can usually get a few salt and pepper packets for free at some places. Some coffee places have creamers too that you can help yourself to. I would suggest buying a coffee first, but if you can't make note of it to next time you can afford to do so. Also, you should find out about soup kitchens or food banks in your area. It can be embarrassing, but if you have no food, that is what they are there for. Most do not ask about your situation, they are just there to help.
VagueEel 13
my family once went two weeks on about $25 of potatoes, it actually wasn't that bad because we had spices stored up.
platypus546 24
So you not have running water?
TinyPanda49 12
Have you tired food banks. You might have some in your area. I've used them before. They might not give out a lot but they give enough for a week. Best of luck to you.
aggoden_bed 9
Next time have ketchup, it tastes better
VagueEel 13
a trick I've heard of people doing is going and getting ketchup and a cup of water from a fast food restaurant and then mixing and heating them to make tomato soup. not yummy but it's something
Fmlreadermostly 20
You know, if you go kind of hang out at a fast food place and asked people for some food, or even made a sign asking for a meal, I'm sure someone would probably get you food. It is more likely since people are getting tired of panhandling, and really prefer to see the immediate results of helping someone. Well, at least I do.
LikeLegitness 21
I know that feeling. Once I was so hungry I ate A1 steak sauce. And other time I ate a jar of jalapenos