Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML
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By
Welshite
| 39
I'll bet you didn't hear him complaining, though. ;)
Reply
perdix
| 29
If he objected, he could have easily pushed her hand away. He didn't push her hand away, therefore . . .
Reply
gc327072
| 29
The old man= Perdix in 20-30 years.
Reply
cosmosis
| 12
Hes just unlucky op wasnt dreaming about skiing.
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KMtheDrummer
| 6
I originally thought OP was male, which made this much funnier.
By
JBChristian
| 46
Well that would be quite embarrassing, huh?
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mzrobinson
| 13
Hence why it's on FML. -___-
Reply
renjisgirl12
| 22
I was just about to say the same thing lol
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loloalltheway
| 23
I agree with the baby!
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Silent_Thrill
| 17
#20, I also agree with the baby! Here's to you mzRobinson. Jesus love you mor..... oh god dammit!! Time to go watch The Graduate.
Reply
MrPlopper
| 9
I like how the cat agreed with the human child and not the other cat
By
Pleonasm
| 34
I bet he wasn't creeped out though.
After a while, though, I think it was less up and down the leg, and more up and down the dong.
I think he's ready for take-off. I bet his jet engine enjoyed its four-stroke cycle.
After a while, though, I think it was less up and down the leg, and more up and down the dong.
I think he's ready for take-off. I bet his jet engine enjoyed its four-stroke cycle.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Ugh. I don't know why I bother anymore.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Reply
zingline89
| 18
It's okay Pleo, FML is hit and miss. One minute you're flying high, the next you come to a crash landing. Once the down thumbing begins, people like to just pilot on. But hey, I'll always be your wingman. I mean, wouldn't you rudder try than just not comment at all?
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Who nose? It's not fun having the FML thumb police on my tail. I mean I'm a Fighter, but meh.
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Dusty_Busters
| 15
Well done!
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danielnieves
| 4
Jet engines don't have strokes
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Pleonasm
| 34
I like to pretend that they do.
By
codyjohn17
| 5
Wow.... Try to avoid him slipping roofies in your drink. Or as I like to call it "floories"
(hangover quote)
(hangover quote)
Reply
biggestfan23
| 11
#4 that had no relevance to this FML
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sexxxysydney
| 14
I get what you were going for. Unfortunately, it just didn't work out.
Reply
verkdizzle
| 2
Not only did the quote not have anything to do with the FML. But you ruined it even further by naming the source like we're all half-wits. I don't appreciate that very much
Reply
verkdizzle
| 2
The 'frowned upon, like masterbating on an airplane' quote would have been more relevant here
Reply
seandoc
| 13
This seriously made no sense..
By
onorexveritas
| 23
hilarious
By
renjisgirl12
| 22
lets just hope he didn't want to return the favour :S
By
Lauren324
| 18
I'm surprised he didn't tell you to keep doing it.
Reply
gracehi
| 31
I wonder why my comment was deleted. I wasn't being mean to anybody. Welshite, I realize that old people aren't necessarily celibate. Hell, it's not like I've never heard of Hugh Hefner. I was just being silly and making a joke.
Reply
olpally
| 32
Wrong username welshite... Her name is Lauren. Lmao. As for the fml, have fun explaining that to the old man op, sure he didn't mind at all though. Lol.
Edit:: Never mind... I didn't see gracehi there! Whoops! Lol
Edit:: Never mind... I didn't see gracehi there! Whoops! Lol
By
gracehi
| 31
"Today, the young lady in the seat next to me on the airplane fell asleep. I guess she was dreaming, because she began to seductively run her hand up and down my thigh. That's the most action I've gotten in about fifty years. FML"
Reply
Welshite
| 39
Gracehi, just because people are old doesn't mean they don't get some "action". I'm sure he just appreciated being felt up by a much younger woman.
By
PenguinBitch
| 43
Don't get frighten! That's not a snake he has.
Reply
crazytwinsmom
| 25
Snakes on the plane!
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seandoc
| 13
Where's Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?
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Silent_Thrill
| 17
It may only be one snake, but watch out! It's venom can ruin someone's life for up to 18 years.
By
perdix
| 29
Did he ask you to go back to sleep for about five more minutes so he can finish?
Reply
cristy91
| 33
How do you think she woke up?
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Silent_Thrill
| 17
And to think I got pissed when my friend dumped cold water on my face while I was sleeping...
After a while, though, I think it was less up and down the leg, and more up and down the dong.
I think he's ready for take-off. I bet his jet engine enjoyed its four-stroke cycle.