By ScoozieBooze - 20/12/2012 18:17 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 486
You deserved it 32 370

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Top comments

Was it a bloodhound? Those bitches are crazy, period.

That would be interesting, I bet you were yelling for penis to bring back your tampon applicator. The neighbors think you way crazy now.

Comments

Was it a bloodhound? Those bitches are crazy, period.

CharresBarkrey 15

Damnit that's clever.

mowmowlife 21

Skillful

Well 4, I hope this is just a meta-Phase, and that she's not stuck in it...

Guys there's no womb on here for your silly puns anymore! They're ovar-y used and bloody annoying! Sorry to be mean but you know what I menst-ral

There's always room for more puns.

this fml app is stupid..

You have just vindicated this entire website's gross overusage of puns. *pretentious deuche's light clapping*

CharresBarkrey 15

33 - Damnit, that's also clever. Sometimes I get frustrated reading these punny comments and wonder why I can't be that witty.

The dog probably thought it was a toy. But either way, FYL.

BellaBelle_fml 23

Most dogs can make just about anything into the most magnificent toy! I envy their care-free and evil genius ways :)

That would be interesting, I bet you were yelling for penis to bring back your tampon applicator. The neighbors think you way crazy now.

Penis, the Greek dog!

BH1126 11

Bahahaha, love the reference!

blunttobluntest 12

You said it yourself. Dumbass.

loserboii 11

Well bloody hell, you don't sound to sanguine about the situation.

LiterOfCola 16

Sanguine pun is well done.

LiterOfCola 16

Just go with the flow, OP. Your neighbors probably aren't that bloody disgusted, just a little at the maxi.

Sounds like you set up the perfect Neighborhood Watch. I bet they'll always keep an eye on what comes out of your house. Thieves don't stand a chance!

Let's hope that she doesn't find cameras installed in her washroom.

run naked bitch run!

Dude she wasn't naked

And he replied to you 10 or so comments below this comment... Never thought there would be a need for a commenting/replying tutorial but the stupidity is great with this one.

It's just a common misunderstanding. Your neighbors will understand. Probably.

BellaBelle_fml 23

I see no misunderstanding going on in this FML.

What the hell is this comment doing here? I posted on a completely different FML.

BellaBelle_fml 23

Oh ok, my apologies are extended to you, kind sir :)

1dvs_bstd 41

.... what if ... your neighbors think you were screwing the pooch? I mean, it does have your tampon applicator and you did run out with your undies... see what this observer means?

D: what? Why?! Screwing the dog?! I don't think ANYONE would think that, it just....no D:!

First time I've heard of a tampon applicator as a sex toy...then again, I'm pretty prudish.