Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old...

By busmanhoe - 14/12/2009 11:19 - Norway

Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 870

You deserved it 4 910

Miscellaneous

Own it

Batman

Bored

By ohman - 02/10/2010 06:28 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend dumped me because 'I look like his hamster when I'm eating sunflower seeds.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 522

You deserved it 5 848

Addictive

By omfg - 08/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was introduced to Minecraft. I haven't blinked in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 1 454

By GatorBoi - 04/07/2016 17:59 - United States

Today, I had to awkwardly sit next to my ex and her mother on a 2-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 419

You deserved it 2 274

By rissa5214 - 26/07/2015 18:20 - United States - Stoughton

Today, I told my boyfriend of three years that I wanted to get married and have a child within the next five years. He responded by packing up my things and showing me the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 436

You deserved it 5 888

By needtoscratch - 05/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 872

You deserved it 1 764

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 09:08 - Australia

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 413

You deserved it 16 117

By mo - 19/12/2011 07:55 - United States

Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 758

You deserved it 7 128

Motherly love

By tara, sadly - 22/10/2021 14:00

Today, I overheard my mother saying that if murder were legal, there would be absolutely no chance that I wouldn’t have been killed as a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 72

By ihatelaura - 15/05/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 071

You deserved it 5 593

By Anonymous - 12/12/2015 05:32 - United States - Alexandria Bay

Today, the small plane I was on almost crashed, all because the pilot's girlfriend figured out mid-flight that he's been cheating on her, causing her to start screaming abuse and furiously beating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 340

You deserved it 1 376

By Anonymous - 02/11/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 491

You deserved it 5 078

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 556

You deserved it 12 240

By sexyyy - 07/12/2009 19:18 - Belgium

Today, my family and I were discussing my birthday in a couple weeks. As they asked what I wanted, I told them it was up to them. So my mother suggested that she'll get me electrolysis so I wouldn't have to worry about my mustache in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 694

You deserved it 5 094

By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 076

You deserved it 23 329

By mnote - 23/10/2014 15:56 - United States - Sapulpa

Today, I didn't make dinner fast enough so somebody had a yelling and screaming temper tantrum. It would be understandable if the person who threw the tantrum was a child, and not my 57-year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 266

You deserved it 2 902

By LizLiao - 14/04/2009 07:50 - United States

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 782

You deserved it 7 752

By sadmother - 01/07/2011 23:12 - Canada

Today, I asked my daughter what time it was. She stared at the clock for several seconds before muttering, "I don't know". She's 14 years old and on the honour roll, and yet she can't tell the time on an analogue clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 901

You deserved it 12 827

Sneaky moggie

By wouldn'tyouliketoknow - 12/10/2019 02:00

Today, my neighbours were screaming for their "lost" cat again. I've already seen the cat multiple times. In my garden. Pissing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 119

By CaptainFluffyPaw - 29/06/2015 01:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a customer complained about me for getting their order wrong. This would have been fine if they hadn't sent their ten-year-old kid to order for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 707

You deserved it 1 853

By Anonymous - 01/07/2014 04:26 - United States - Murfreesboro

Today, after losing his job, I reassured my boyfriend by telling him I'd rather be with him living in a cardboard box than to be without him. He responded by telling me he'd rather be dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 363

You deserved it 6 067

By jdch_99 - 29/08/2012 13:12 - United States

Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 216

You deserved it 1 634

By sarah - 18/04/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, I was at the Apple Store taking random pictures of myself. I took one with a really stupid face. This girl passes by and says, "Wow, that's a cool effect! You look just like an alien!" I wasn't using any effects. It was a regular picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 987

You deserved it 10 956

By prayforme - 11/11/2009 01:52 - United States

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 033

You deserved it 62 880

By daddyrobyn - 17/04/2017 04:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I met an important figure in my line of work who also happens to know my dad, Alan. Upon meeting said person, I let my social anxiety get the best of me and I greeted him by saying, "Hi! I'm your Alan!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 382

You deserved it 644

By RBHSWedgieGirl - 23/01/2011 01:35 - United States

Today, while walking across campus, I stopped to look at my reflection in a window. I straightened my bra straps and then turned to the side to dig a wedgie out. It wasn't until I heard peals of laughter that I realized I couldn't see IN the classroom, but they could see OUT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 472

You deserved it 35 964

By Bam - 09/09/2018 15:00

Today, after being told my cellphone was under warranty and would be repaired for free, Samsung received my device, changed their minds, and charged me $636.96 to return my device to me. That's more than the device costs new at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 060

You deserved it 191

Egg mode

By Anonymous - 22/11/2020 22:58

Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 150

By probably single - 29/05/2015 18:28 - Denmark - Gram

Today, my girlfriend bought two tickets for a cruise to the Bahamas. Too bad the second ticket isn't for me. I guess her ex-boyfriend will have a wonderful time with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 932

You deserved it 2 389

By makeyourselfathome - 17/09/2014 12:18 - Australia - Richmond

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 453

You deserved it 3 010

Cryptic reaction

By Anonymous - 30/08/2021 03:01

Today, I found out I’m pregnant with the man I’ve been in love with for almost a year. When I told him, he got down on one knee, cuddled my abdomen and said, "Get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 156

By Katz - 11/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 184

You deserved it 406

Respect

By it’s still cheating! - 05/09/2021 11:01 - United States - Hesperia

Today, my wife, who’s been a stay at home mom since our kids were born, hasn’t really been out looking for a day job since they’re old enough to be in school full time now. She has however been day-drinking and hooking up with the neighbor's wife. She insists she’s not gay, just experimenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 133

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 09:57 - United States

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 549

You deserved it 27 283

By Señor Guapo - 04/03/2009 17:42 - United States

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 652

You deserved it 45 343

By dumbass - 07/02/2011 00:58

Today, my boyfriend left for a 2-year job posting in China. We had agreed to maintain a long distance relationship and even worked out a visiting schedule. Later that night, after trying to reach him, I realized the numbers he gave me weren't for China. The country code doesn't even exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 295

You deserved it 3 723

By Username - 11/07/2011 17:42 - United States

Today, I had diarrhea at work. While trying to be subtle about the noises, the woman in the stall next to me called me by name and asked if I was having trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 3 091

By Anonymous - 21/08/2016 09:21 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, my friends told me they have been able to see all my BDSM likes in their Facebook feeds. My family and coworkers also follow me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 492

You deserved it 18 697

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 207

By Anonymous - 28/05/2013 16:37 - Australia - Lane Cove

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 528

You deserved it 15 969

By Sleep Deprived - 25/12/2011 05:27 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 128

You deserved it 3 786

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Top comments

cloudgazer 3

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:07

You should have told the bus driver that you would be right back!

lettertjes 0

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:16

So DID you tell de bus driver you were coming back? Because you can't expect the driver to just know that you didn't want to stay out of the bus when you got out.

cloudgazer 3

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:07

You should have told the bus driver that you would be right back!

acoti 0

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Tuesday 15 December 2009 6:10

I've been seeing way too many of these popping up. If it's real, sucks to be you, if you're lying, meh.

AlicaKate 0

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:08

YDI for not telling the bus driver!

Fredzter 0

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Monday 14 December 2009 21:04

I do this almost once a week, I never tell the bus driver that I'm getting back on. Most of them notice, I've never seen a Norwegian bus driver, drive away after someone helped someone of the bus. Oh my, that was a weird sentence. FYL, as a Norwegian I know how it is, the bus thingy over here is way different from other countries.

oNikkio 0

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Wednesday 16 December 2009 2:31

Wow, I bet you were pretty shocked afterwards. At least you were able to help someone else in the process. . . but the worst part is that you lost your stuff. Ouch.

boatkicker 4

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:13

ouch. FYL. If you call the company, however, they may make note of it in the drivers file. I dont know how the transportation system works where you are, but at the local one where I used to live if you get a certain number of warnings you're suspended.

boatkicker 4

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:21

To add: this only applies if you told him you would be getting right back on, and he drove off anyways.

lettertjes 0

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:16

So DID you tell de bus driver you were coming back? Because you can't expect the driver to just know that you didn't want to stay out of the bus when you got out.

aback 4

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:22

Bus driver, not mind reader.

advent2060 4

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:27

Fuck bus drivers...

njmachine 0

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:37

this just happened to someone else on here like a week or two ago. wonder if it was the same driver. those people can be pretty bad sometimes. I've been on buses where the driver spent the entire trip texting and talking on his cell phone, and on buses where I've had to yell at the driver because it was late and they didn't want to exit the highway to go to my stop, they just wanted to keep going to the end of the route. F their L for being unqualified to do anything besides drive a bus.

allmidnighteyes 10

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Monday 14 December 2009 20:40

There's this thing we as humans do called communicating with each other. Had you asked the bus driver to wait a few seconds while you escorted her off the bus, I doubt this would have happened. YDI.