By Rodrigeuz26 - 22/01/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 276
You deserved it 4 485

Same thing different taste

Top comments

shmikey 0

how did she keep that secret for 6 months?

Comments

Wow. I think you should be completely honest with her about the fact that you were weirded out enough to write about it on this board, for starters. I think she owed it to you and her child to make it clear from the beginning that they were a package deal. Yes, we all make mistakes, but this was perhaps more than that. She sounds colossally insecure and like she does a lot of second-guessing and telling others what they want to hear. I would suggest some distance from her to find out how you really feel about this, then go with that.

If you can't handle having to tell any new partner in your life about your child, don't have kids. Of course a pretty big proportion of people won't want to take on other people's baggage, and of course it's not gonna be OK to lie and hide your kid for 6 months. Stupid, selfish girl.

Me Personally I'd send them packing, i fully understand not meeting the child until she's sure (been there done that) but not mentioning the child is a whole other matter, what else is she hiding. Generally anyone i meet knows i have kids very quickly often the first meeting. I'm not ashamed of them they're part of me and the conversation usually swings to home and life situations etc.

mlg91605 0

i think she could have mentioned things in the begining. i think if your both young teenage years then it could change things if your both adults it shouldnt. i think some women arent comfortable telling a male that she has a child! im sure she has " reasons " why she didnt tell you but just listen to her and go from that!

If they're both adults it should definitely matter. As an adult, she CHOSE to omit the fact that she had a child. It doesn't matter why, they were dating for 6 months. She also never warned him that said child was coming to meet him. She never thought about how he would feel while she was making said decisions. The fact is, you have to put it out there. Whether or not the person you like is ok with children, that is THEIR choice. It is NOT something that should be forced upon them, or omitted until they become more attached. They did not have the child, so it is their choice whether or not they are ready to take care of someone else's.

damnrosi 0

of course it should matter if they're adults! Would you want to have to take on the responsibility of someone else's child? not many people do. and if they're younger adults (20-27), it would suck having the kid around because you have to find babysitters, you are expected to help take care of it once and a while, you can't just go out and have fun it has to be planned, and you either have to get someone to take care of the kid for you if you want to go on vacations or you have to have kid friendly vacations (how dull!). So yeah, I'd say it matters a lot, and will probably change the situation, if the other person has a kid (and what if you do continue with her, and things get serious, and the kid really likes you but then you guys break up?? poor kid, it would be like going through a divorce (or losing a father) all over again! thats a terrible burden to bear)

ProtoBuster_1 5

To Damnrosi - "So yeah, I'd say it matters a lot, and will probably change the situation, if the other person has a kid (and what if you do continue with her, and things get serious, and the kid really likes you but then you guys break up?? poor kid, it would be like going through a divorce (or losing a father) all over again! that's a terrible burden to bear)" - this is exactly the reason why personally I don't date single mothers. I don't want the child to be hurt.

Don't let the door hitcha.... hope you dropped the duplicitous little tramp. If not. YDI.

I'd say, "See Ya!" If someone can keep something like that a secret for 6 months, what else might she be lying about? I got rid of a guy for something similar. Don't lie about kids!

nothing wrong with having a kid... something wrong with hiding a kid though. Question: Did you not notice 1) the caesarian scar or 2) the ****** hanging like a wizards sleeve in these six months Or did you not get that far - in which case FYL indeed

monnanon 13

i would maybe agree with you the whole "did you not notice these things" point if it hadn't be THREE YEARS. Ok the scar could still be there but people have scars for all sorts of reasons. I would dearly hope that a ****** would regain some of its former shape after birth especially after three years. On saying that there should have been some clues in the 6 months like her having to be home at certain times or he never getting to go to her house.

The clues might not be there, or be so obvious. Needing to be home early can easily be explained with things like claiming you have to be at work early the next morning. For all we know their dates were on nights where the father had the child. Not going to her home can happen too, especially if she lives with her parents, or maybe she just said she had roommates and it was easier to go to his place.

mohlee 0

Are you a dumbass ? The ****** wouldn't be "hanging like a sleeve."

Quiet_one 22

Wow, 6 months is a really long time to keep something that huge from someone you're dating. Like others have said, keeping big, important secrets for that long is not a good sign, but she probably didn't tell you for so long because she was afraid of getting exactly this kind of reaction. That doesn't make it right, but before you dump her and run away you should try to consider how hard it must have been for her to finally take that step and introduce you to her child.

I can't tell if you're a troll, but just in case you're not, while wating to introduce her son to her boyfriend is understandable, she owed it to her boyfriend to at least TELL him about it at some point in the six months they've been dating.

@23 Very niice... what I'm confused about is that if it has been her kid the last three years, whose was it before that?

dudeitsdanny 9

THANK YOU. Lol, child of 3 years makes it sound like he/she has been her kid for 3 years, but someone else's before.