Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML
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Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, as I had a chat with my boyfriend and a couple of his friends, one of them had brought up my boyfriend's son and his other child who was due any day now. The conversation would have went well, had I known that he had a son and a pregnant girlfriend. FML
Today, we've been dating for over three months, but I went over my girlfriend's house for the first time. As we walked through the door, I was greeted by a little girl whose first words to me were, "Are you my daddy?" FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of six years has a five year-old daughter. FML
Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML
Today, a woman came up to me and sheepishly asked if my son is single. He's not my son, he's my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML
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Top comments
shmikey 0
how did she keep that secret for 6 months?
Dopeyrox 0
dang I hope u said yes!
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Comments (251)
crzyjkrsd 0
Dude you are set. You dont have to go through all the messy baby stuff, and you can train him to go get you a beer....
Kara1717 0
You sir, are a real man.
alexisthename 0
Great, now I'm craving a beer, but can't have one because I'm at work and that would be irresponsible. FML.
chiikiis17 0
this sucks well let her explain what is going on and then u decide if it changes things or not....thats what i think
kisseshugsdrugs 5
hey at least she didnt come to the table saying she was pregnant and asked if it changed anything hahaha
relyo 0
What's the big deal? Do you hate children or something? /sarcasm off.
darkmis1 18
Of course it changes things! How could she keep something as huge as having a child a secret for six months? OP, you two might want to have a little talk about this. Good luck.
nonameLiz 0
Wow...this is truley a FYL...And how have you not noticed all the baby stuff around her house??
Elesiel 0
A lot of single moms find it difficult to find dates - many men don't want to take care of someone else's kid. I can understand why she'd hold off telling you initially, but I think she should have after the first couple dates.
mshafty 0
FYL for eating at IHOP!
perdix 31
Y'know, Apple could easily buy the company that owns IHOP and change the name to iHop (coincidentally, the company also owns Apple-bee's. I'm not kidding, I couldn't make that up!) Why do I suddenly have a craving for Cinnamon Apple Pancakes?
Sirin_fml 47
Oh shit, did someone say "Cinnamon Apple Pancakes"? Get back in the kitchen and make me one, woman!
perdix 31
I'm a dude, but I'll happily make you one. For a nose-licking ;)
Sirin_fml 47
Yes, I know Perdix, but you'll always be a woman in my mind. Always... As for the nose-licking, how about I promise you one, you make me a pancake, I eat said pancake, then I K.O. you with a spoon and leave without honouring my promise? I mean, it's an attractive proposition, no? :D
perdix 31
Listen, Sirin, if you sing that Billy Joel song to me, I'm going to have to roll up my pancakes into tight tubes and insert them in you with extreme prejudice! I can't accept the term of using the spoon to knock me out, but we can discuss other ways you could thrill me into unconsiousness and absolve you of the nose-licking promise. I hope we can find common ground because you've got me greasing my skillet already.
Sirin_fml 47
Oh my, are you trying to seduce me, Mister Perdix? I'm afraid I couldn't POSSIBLY give in, though getting my god-damn overdue pancake may be a tenuous first step! I'm afraid you greasing your skillet will be the only pleasuring you'll get here. These moderator chastity belts SUCK! If you manage to seduce Didi though, he may be willing to give you the key, though catching up with me to use it will be quite the hurdle. Hurdle... hurdle you see? See what I failed miserably attempting to do there? :D
Twinklestar 0
Oh my Sirin, you must have a heart of ice to resist such a masterful attempt at seduction.
Sirin_fml 47
Oh shit, it's Twinklestar. I'm down, let's party. Preferably at least 1 continent away from Perdix >_>
perdix 31
Thank you, Twinklestar, I don't know the cause of Sirin's intransigence, but I will remain firm, too. Shed better not underestimate my speed when the game is so tempting. I'll just keep greasing my skillet until I get someone to want my pancakes. At that time, I'll bring my pancake-making cookware out.
Twinklestar 0
Sounds good. I'm hopeless at making pancakes sorry, but I make mean french toast,
perdix 31
Looks like we have a deal. Now we need to flip a coin to see which one of us is going to make the trans-Atlantic trip to have breakfast.
Anteezy 7
FYL, you should have found out though it's the fourth question I always ask: 1. Are you single? 2. Are you gay? 3. Do you have any venereal disease? 4. Do you have kids hidden somewhere? That's key information right there.
Jernau_Gurgeh 0
Also ask for a federal ID card with biometrics before you kiss her, and CHECK those biometrics before you kiss her!