Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who...

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 283

You deserved it 45 037

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/05/2010 17:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me in an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 090

You deserved it 7 781

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 948

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 321

You deserved it 4 012

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 129

By oopsiecoffee - 09/04/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full" He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 76 706

Holy eyesight, Batman!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 155

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 768

You deserved it 11 914

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 537

You deserved it 3 293

By Anonymous - 04/04/2012 04:48 - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 983

You deserved it 2 439

By tlm84 - 28/07/2014 02:54 - United States - Fitchburg

Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man, and that my ass was grounds for discussion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 616

You deserved it 5 062

AssOf2009 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:26

lmao, maybe he was debating with himself as to whether or not he should tell you your crack was showing!

Imawhalerider 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:31

"hey man don't get all cracked up"

Comments

ericavel 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 9:31

Hahahahaha what a great man

soccergirl15_fml 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 9:37

That is my biggest pet peeve. Cover that. Eww. I am so paranoid about that happening to me. It's avoidable.

liveBabylon 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 12:31

ahahahhahahahahahahahahahah :) He seems super sweet, so caring not a fml someone helped you out be appreciative

tipple 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 14:25

That is so random and hilarious! :o) Probably a little creepy for you too, though... Anyway, contrary to the negative comments from some, I think seeing butt crack can be great. Depends a lot on the butt in question of course, but if I don't like it, I can always look away. :o)

Epiphany1882 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 17:17

HAHAHAHAHA omg, im sitting at a Starbucks right now. My crack isnt showing, and no signs of a weird guy yet. Still early though. *waits*

cheshirexcat 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 2:55

HAHAHA love the way he said it

ShortyBBangin 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 3:16

AHAHAHAHAHAH I am laughing so hard right now!

mylyfsukswbu 0

Monday 3 August 2009 23:55

LMAO, I usauly don't actauly laugh at these fmls but this was good. Lol i must be really immature because i found this helarious! hahahahahaha. sory for your luck, get a belt. this is helarious