Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I finally felt ready for intimacy with my boyfriend, and I sent him a sexy picture of myself topless. He texted back, "Ewwwww." FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
Honey, if you need to turn him on a day in advance to get him to want to have sex with you, you're doing something wrong.
cupcakegirl93 8
Either you are trying to hard or he has moved on and isn't interested... try to figure out the real reason and good luck!
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Comments (167)
Saltime 0
My whole idea on this comment is that you saw FML before anybody commented, go excited, and clicked the "Comment" button. To your surprise, you had nothing witty to say, so you wrote down this.
sj6969 0
he's gay, talk dirty with me instead
perdix 31
Using the proper medical terms can be quite a turn-off. "I will be aroused when insert your penis into my ****** and we will have coitus until you ejaculate." That just evokes images of Amy Farrah Fowler and Lilith Sternin-Crane. Yuck.
lllilll 4
I can hardly call "coitus" a medical term...
perdix 31
It certainly is. It is not slang, it is a technical term for copulation, or *******, if you will.
5t3ff1k4h 47
Okay, here's the problem. This method works for mature adults. You seem like you're dating a 5 year old, so of course this wouldn't work on him. Tell him not to worry and to put his pee-pee away for ten years, and then you go find a real man to be with.
ReynshineCutting 10
This "method" does not work on "mature adults". This works on all different kinds of people (high school kids definitely aren't mature adults) whether mature or not. My fiancé and I don't sext anything beyond "I can't wait to make love tonight". We're both mature adults who 9 times out of 10 make love for the connection we get, not the physical pleasure. Some of us mature adults aren't into dirty raunchy sex.
Pawned71 0
Send this fag to die in Siberian Cold harsh winter!
mlexi21 5
ha, damn.
ReynshineCutting 10
Maybe her boyfriend doesn't like dirty sex at all so dirty sexting wouldn't do it for him.
mab_987 5
YDI for not getting the hint that he wasn't in the mood when he wouldn't reply.
kaykay20 0
The whole point of texts were to turn him on so you clearly missed the point
mab_987 5
dunicha 20
Well, not everyone is into sexting. If you want to titillate him find something he enjoys more.