And I oop

By porkers gonna pork :\ - 12/03/2016 15:09 - Australia - Elsternwick

Today, I met one of my fiancé's coworkers. Normally I'd never ask how far along someone's pregnancy is without being 100% sure they're not just fat, but she seemed fit. Well, I now know that virtually all the fat in some people's bodies can go straight to their gut and nowhere else. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 769
You deserved it 6 285

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Even if the person seems fit, you still NEVER ask, as bodies can be very deceiving. You should have listened to your own rule.

I just follow the rule of never EVER asking ANY woman if she's pregnant unless the words "I am pregnant" come out of her mouth.

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Well life sucks... All the fat into people's bellies, not you fault OP

Today, while at work, my coworkers Fiancé showed up and asked me how many months pregnant I am. I'm not pregnant, just fat. FML

And also a dude. Don't forget that part :p

Even if the person seems fit, you still NEVER ask, as bodies can be very deceiving. You should have listened to your own rule.

You sound like an asshole

Someone could say something like "I am pregnant ... (pause) ... I wish I could say that but alas I am just overweight". I guess the best policy is to wait for a woman to use a pregnancy test in front of you before assuming she is pregnant ... and even then it could turn out to be choriocarcinoma ...

Plus, there are stomach conditions that cause severe stomach bloating. I have a stomach condition and my stomach can bloat where I look like I'm a few months pregnant sometimes. Best to just avoid ever asking op.

Exactly! The best rule of thumb is if you don't see a baby coming out, don't assume any woman is pregnant.

I just follow the rule of never EVER asking ANY woman if she's pregnant unless the words "I am pregnant" come out of her mouth.

That must lead to odd interactions... "I'm pregnant." "Oh, are you pregnant?"

That's true. I should've said that I never assume a woman is pregnant unless those words come out of her mouth. Lol

Unless it's as follows "Oh you are pregnant, how far? "

I have an easier rule to follow: don't pretend to care, ever. I have nothing to say about pregnancy and bringing it up can only lead the conversation in a boring-as-fuck direction, so I'd just steer clear of it as much as possible. I'm such a nice guy, right? :D

Yeah, just don't ask. Never ask. Unless they are a tiny person who looks like they are literally one bend over away from popping, or they bring it up themselves, just smile and pretend you don't notice...

You did notice that your first scenario is literally the events of this FML, right?

Actually the OP just said that she looked fit and had a stomach, no other descriptions.

Basically what #48 said. I assumed "fit" didn't mean tiny and having more fat in her gut didn't mean she looked like she was about to deliver.

I never understood why people feel the need to ask "How far along are you?" whenever they see a pregnant (or seemingly pregnant) woman. These stories never seem to end well...

For some reason as soon as a woman gets pregnant, her life and body are perceived as public property. Strangers start asking not only when your baby is due but if you know the sex, what names you are considering. Some just come up and touch your belly without so much as asking permission. Just leave pregnant women alone unless THEY start the topic.

I was excited about my babies so I loved when people asked about them.

I don't think there is any particular problem with asking someone about their pregnancy (if you know they are). In my experience most women are proud to talk about it. Of course, touching is out of the question unless she invites you to.

People usually ask how far along they are and other questions about the baby because they realize it is a happy time for the mother and the biggest topic of her life at that moment. Usually they want to talk about it.

Yea I never understood that.. After you become pregnant suddenly everyone thinks they get a say.. Like telling you their opinion on baby names.. And the touching.. Agh the touching was the worst.. Whenever a stranger would come up and grab my belly- I would grab theirs just to see the look on their face

more like they eat so much their gut stretches immensely.

You don't sound like a nice guy, MrHappyNiceGuy.

They eat so much their intestines are expanding?

Ever heard of IBS? I guess not.

Beer belly or food baby?

Or neither. I have cysts on my kidneys, which make them larger than a normal person's kidneys. Because my kidneys are so big, they take up space in my abdomen and make me look pregnant, though I do not otherwise look overweight. It's probably best to not make assumptions about why people's bodies look the way they do.

Or maybe she's one of those people that would appear on that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"

There's one thing I've learnt in life is to never ask a female anything regarding their weight because you have a 99.99% success rate to not get something positive other than getting them annoyed. Also their age, if asked just say they're younger than they look, most of the time it works.

That's a little bit stereotypical. Unless you start your conversation with a woman by telling them that they look fat and old (and I don’t think a man would appreciate that either), there is no reason why a woman would get upset about the topics. I never had any problem disclosing my age, being embarrassed of your age is to me as dumb as being embarrassed that your hair grows. Everyone ages, so what’s to be embarrassed about? As for the weight, if I’m talking about it with someone, I wouldn’t be offended if they ask me about it. However if someone strikes up a conversation by asking my measurements, then I’d probably tell them to get lost because that’s just not polite.

If you though what I had typed was sincere, it's not. I was just poking fun about the societal views on how to talk about a females weight and age, which is never apparently. Also most men don't care as much if they're called old or fat because it's generally in a joking manner, if it's not, we're trying to tell each other as bluntly as possible of their current situation.

I learned this lesson the hard way. I asked a friend's wife when she was due to deliver. She pointed to a baby in a carrier. I'm sorry but she looked like she was still pregnant. I'll never ask that question again.

I'm sorry, but how exactly did you miss the baby IN the room?

Well, women's bodies don't typically snap back into the pre-pregnancy shape after a baby's born. It took 9 months to cook the little bastard so it's going to take at least 9 months to get back into your pre-baby shape.

I'd like to take a moment to call out OP's user name. Rude, much?

learn to take a joke much?

Glad someone caught that too. And op already seems to have offended a stranger, choosing a name that seems to be making fun of the same stranger seems a bit asshole-ish to me.

Several Aussie buddies have straight up told me that's what they do, be assholes, take the piss, troll, bully, whatever. OP probably has her own weight or appearance issues if not a mental cause to be such a dick. Or she's just an Aussie stereotype. Why is OP surprised at that particular fat storage body type? Look at the lucky thin women who seemingly either have a lot of breast tissue, or all their extra fat go to their tits. A lot of women in my family including me have more fat go to our middle and smaller arms and legs. So you just try to lose it and do extra crunches and don't sit a lot as that adds abdominal fat. Aka genetics OP. Walking an hour or two by itself is great exercise. Plus having IBS or other bloaty issues or water retention can add to the appearance.

It's a pretty nasty joke. It's OP's stupid fault she made assumptions about this lady being pregnant, she doesn't have to call her rude words on top of it.

people that say much? at the end if sentences don't deserve to write