Love: Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she...

By Anonymous - United States - Irving

Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML

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Love

And today, on Dr Phil…

Family matters

Litter

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

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By slugitha - United States

Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML

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By Dumped - United States

Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

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By college will be fun they said - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was running late to class and slipped down a staircase. Not only did nobody help me, but when I got up I noticed an old man staring at my ass. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/10/2020 16:56

Family matters

Today, I was told by step-dad, who I live with, that my mom "hates my guts" while smiling so big, because he got a call from her. He's so desperate for her to come back that all the lying, cheating, manipulation, and emotional abuse doesn't push him away. She's a tornado. FML

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By happybirthday - United States

Today, my husband bought me a beautiful pair of earrings for my birthday, to match the necklace he'd spent months searching for online the previous year. What necklace? He gave me a watch he found at Walmart last year. I wonder who the lucky girl with the necklace is. FML

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By Fackwork - United States - Council Bluffs

Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML

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By OiVey - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor

Today, I found out that I've been taking the wrong math class all semester. We're only a few weeks from finals and I have no drops left. FML

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By aerythia - United States - Nashville

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

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By crazygirl12 - United States

Today, while working at Kohl's this woman came up to me and asked if I was Native American, I said yes, she then says "Oh! I thought you guys went extinct." This is the country I live in. FML

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By poop - United States

Today, I asked my ex-boyfriend how things were going since our breakup. We broke up because he admitted he was questioning his sexuality, and wanted to play for the other team. He took the conversation as an opportunity to talk about his new, amazing girlfriend. FML

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By Freebie - United States - Altoona

Today, marks the third month that I have not received payment for work I did on web pages for a hospital chain. They owe me over $1,000. It will cost twice that to get a lawyer to force them to pay me what I'm owed. FML

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By Patrick - United States

Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML

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By downinthedumps - United States - Detroit

Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML

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By Odds in my favour

Today, I put out a public ad for a dancing buddy. No pictures, just a brief description of what I was looking for. A guy answered and we started chatting. The more he revealed, the more familiar he sounded. Yep! That's him! My stalker from 10 years ago. Guess I have to move. FML

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By AKN - United States

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

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By Suzie Leone - United States

Today, it's "family fun night." We're pulling weeds. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML

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By Lightlysalted

Today, I was invited to a special meal for receiving a scholarship from my college. My mom refuses to take me because “your sister’s going there too and didn’t get a scholarship; it wouldn’t be fair to her.” I guess fairness doesn’t apply to me. FML

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By omfgmaya - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

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By jentown11 - United States

Today, I told my husband I wanted a divorce. He told me he didn't. End of discussion. FML

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By thisisbad - Malaysia

Today, I was in the toilet when somebody started banging on the door loudly. I panicked and immediately cleaned my self and opened the door. As I opened the door, my brother vomited all over me. FML

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By ollierocks96 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

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By steveinnewsoh - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

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By Just wanted a cigarette - United States - Lagrangeville

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML

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By Mike - United States - Los Angeles

The Nerve!

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who refers to himself in the third person on a regular basis, told me that I often act entitled. FML

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By Jennie - 16/6/2020 08:08

Scribble your name across my heart…

Today, I sent a guy in my English class a rose. He's kind of an outcast, so I though it would be a nice gesture. I asked him later how his day was going and he said, "Good. I got a rose this morning, but I could tell it was from a guy. The handwriting was awful." FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2020 07:25 - United States

Mean girls

Today, I watched our presidential candidates face off like high school girls with the whole world watching. FML

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By Anonymous - Germany

Today, as I passed a printout over my shoulder to my mum, I managed to give myself a papercut on my tear duct. FML

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By Maria39018 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As he paused for a second, I thought he was going to get up and find a condom, but instead he turns to me and says, "I think I'm going to go to the library." I wasn't invited. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date with my new boyfriend. When the check came, he asked, "Do you accept food stamps?" When the waiter said no, he checked in his wallet and said, "Well all I have is five dollars." I ended up picking up the $20 tab. FML

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By bad surprise - United States

Today, I went to surprise my boyfriend in the shower. I opened the door and there was a giant shit in the open toilet. I pretended I was looking for my hairbrush. FML

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By TheNoseKnows - United States - Bronx

Fair Warning

Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML

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By howinthenameofholyfuck?! - 16/7/2020 17:01

Thanks for the miracle

Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

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By TipsyTj - Canada - Kentville

Today, I was on my run, running past the home of the very attractive guy in my English class. This time he was outside. As I was running I casually waved, he waved back, but because I was distracted, I didn't notice a rock on the sidewalk and ended up tripping and pantsing myself. FML

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By Soon2beexhr

Today, my boss tested a candidate for my current position while I was out of the office. How did I find out? I work in HR and the test results were sent to my email. The reason I was out was to have emergency surgery. Now I get to recover and job search at the same time. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML

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Top comments

By nonsensical | 26

#6230736 - Friday 13 March 2015 9:29

maybe she wanted you to see...

By Unixxxion | 22

#6230735 - Friday 13 March 2015 9:28

Thats kinda fucked... :/ damn...

COMMENTS

By Unixxxion | 22

#6230735 - Friday 13 March 2015 9:28

Thats kinda fucked... :/ damn...

purpleturtle16 | 20

#6231035 - Friday 13 March 2015 18:40

Monster-in-law!

idontknow8 | 8

#6231326 - Saturday 14 March 2015 0:09

kinda? that's definitely fucked up.

By nonsensical | 26

#6230736 - Friday 13 March 2015 9:29

maybe she wanted you to see...

cristy91 | 33

#6230985 - Friday 13 March 2015 16:47

that's what I'm thinking. it would be hard to accidentally CC unless she clicked reply all to an email from OPs husband that included OP. She definitely sounds like a monster-in-law though

CaitiieBuggs | 23

#6231155 - Friday 13 March 2015 20:05

My first thought was maybe it wasn't an accident. I'd suspect it'd be more work to go through and cc OP, but maybe they usually communicate through email and it's a habit?