By Dick the Greater - 25/10/2013 22:08

Spicy
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks 60 229
You deserved it 10 314

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Drunken words are sober thoughts.

Good things come in tiny packages, she doesn't know what she's missing.

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Good things come in tiny packages, she doesn't know what she's missing.

Perhaps it is her big vag. V's a normal sized wang...

Shame on you #15! Don't you know here on FML we never assume a woman may have wider vagina than other women. We always have to question what is wrong with the man.

Sounds like she knows what OP is missing though.

It's not the size of the ship it's the motion of the ocean.

But you will never get anywhere if your oars don't reach the water. ;)

It doesn't matter how big the banana is, it's how well you sit on it. Your girlfriend could take Katy Perry's advice?

What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Why are you shaking she's going to eat me."

23. Best laugh I've had all day! Thank you!!

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

Even if she thought that, she had to talk to OP about it, what can his mom do about bad oral???

Cool story bro, please tell me more.

She can teach her son how to please a woman. Chivalry is truly dead.

What? What mother teachers their son how to give his girlfriend oral?

Wow. Your mom sounds like a very patient/understanding woman, just listening to all that.

he didn't say what his mom's response was...

I hope she gave advice. At least awkward mom advice is better than awkward mom smack talk on the subject of small genitalia and the female response.

Alcohol is ALWAYS a bad idea at the first meeting...

Until the day after....

Unless your dad is purposely getting your fboyfriend tanked to see what kind of guy he is.

Either get a new girlfriend or talk to your doctor. Maybe both.

"Doc, my penis is small and I am not good at cunnilingus." Dr. Drew maybe could offer some advice, but that's about it.

Lol #44 it was probably better to tell his mom...

looks like u gotta step ur game up . sorry your mom had to be the first to know tho .. awkwardddd

Technically his girlfriend was the first to know, his mother was the 2nd.

What pleases one person may not bring pleasure to another; don't just assume the man has bad form.

Oh dear, sorry to hear OP, she should've been more responsible for it being her first time meeting them.

Well... If you suck at oral, you could always practice more, I can't really give advice for you being small... But... On the bright side the sky looks pretty in the morning sometimes, you could look at it and smile.

Well put. Very well put. X

This is good advice. Everyone would be at least a little happier if they got up early and took a gander at the great blue yonder. It makes your problems look smaller.

I dont think making his 'problem' smaller is exactly what hes looking for, in fact i think its quite the opposite

Well, that wasn't a very good way to find out.