Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML
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Top comments
Tpracingkg 15
Practice makes perfect
spekledworf 18
I hope it wasn't in public. I work at a movie theater and have walked in on worse than handjobs. We don't appreciate it.
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Comments (109)
ohioain 18
You gotta know how to work it(;
Quiet_one 22
I clicked FYL, but then I realized you'd said "movie date," which implies being in public. WTF is wrong with you and your boyfriend? Or do you also use "movie date" to refer to watching a movie in someone's living room? That's an important distinction.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Movie date doesn't always mean going out to the cinema, could just be at her house or his.
IStoleTheCookies 16
Yeah, doing that in public is just nasty lol
BenjiX_fml 13
At least you tried. Most women wouldent do something like that for thier boyfriend.
chocolatefrog28 29
Well, be it public or private anyway, there are really only two steps to a good handjob. 1) Excite 2) Use your mouth instead.
graceinsheepwear 34
A girl after my own heart.
MontvaleMayhem 11
Go check out the shake weight commercial. :)
wvcheesehead1 9
So you just couldn't pull off an ******.
bubble_burst 16
Are you the same lady from a previous FML who "got angry after not being able to have an ******. What was I angry at? My own hand." If yes, you need to take lessons.. professional paid lessons...
soapmactavish82 8
Can I get your number?
fboy1588 14
Well at least op was down for it in a "public" place shes a keeper
amifaiyaz 12
I admire your enthusiasm for public sexytimes, but practice is aways good.