Work and Health: Today, my boss told me I might get fired because I didn't break...

By Nebraskawreck - 02/11/2018 20:01

Today, my boss told me I might get fired because I didn't break up a fist fight. I am over 7 months pregnant and both of the people who were fighting are bigger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 225

You deserved it 275

Work Health

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Mama's boy

"Life is unfair…"

By Ugh - 05/11/2012 02:08 - United States - Dublin

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 780

You deserved it 9 810

By Will - 15/12/2009 07:08 - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 870

You deserved it 5 051

Not you

By Anonymous - 25/05/2021 07:59

Today, I saw that the man who got me pregnant, and swore that if I kept it he'd run away to Asia, and his new girlfriend announced their pregnancy on social media. They both seem to be very happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 192

Nice, thanks

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 04:33 - United States

Today, a little girl came up to me and said, "Hi, my name is Lindsey, let's be friends!" I thought she was cute, so I played along and said, "OK! My name is Jen!" Her reply was, "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 605

You deserved it 13 314

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 541

You deserved it 4 046

By Cantgetno - 20/09/2011 07:45 - United States

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 313

You deserved it 6 801

He got game

By Anonymous - 10/04/2021 17:00

Today, my son told me he's had 5 boyfriends and is currently working to improve himself before getting into another relationship. When I was his age, I was still single. My son has more game than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 17/02/2015 17:42

Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 592

You deserved it 26 600

So, here's the thing…

By MIG2204 - 15/04/2019 20:00 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my school told us that we all need to be checked and treated for threadworms. So now I need to go tell my girlfriend that she needs to be checked and treated for threadworms. We have been dating for little over a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 976

You deserved it 183

Cheers

By toastynippies - 24/02/2015 19:32 - United States

Today, my mom sent me a picture of a blank piece of paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 151

You deserved it 3 204

By Anonymous - 16/09/2015 17:16 - Japan

Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 890

You deserved it 3 338

Rack go thwack

By Mary Anne - 03/09/2020 09:04 - United States - Denver

Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 412

Sweet Sixteen

By Hailie - 14/07/2021 20:01

Today, it was my Sweet 16. My cousin threw a tantrum in the middle of it. She popped balloons, threw chairs around, and threw my gifts off the balcony. Reason being, she turned 16 last year and didn’t get a party. She perhaps forgot that last year we were in a pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 99

Me me me

By fthis - 27/01/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 425

You deserved it 4 317

By Heggs - 31/10/2018 17:30

Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 943

You deserved it 187

By Laura - 30/11/2010 03:03

Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 965

You deserved it 5 355

By Anonymous - 22/07/2017 05:29 - United States - Irving

Today, my dad unlocked the bathroom door and barged in without warning only to catch me, with no clothes on, masturbating. He said, "sorry" but stayed for another 20 seconds to look for his shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 047

You deserved it 1 239

Clean

By Anonymous - 01/02/2014 18:37 - United States - Cortland

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 977

You deserved it 14 021

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 07:30 - United States

Today, between my cats scratching every surface they can find, my boyfriend's snoring, and the dog barking at every slight noise outside, I'm unlikely to ever get more than 3 hours of sleep at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 050

You deserved it 6 029

Life imitates art

By Anonymous - 16/05/2021 11:01

Today, I realized that I've watched so much Honey Boo Boo that I've developed a mild southern accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 055

By bargainshopper - 16/10/2012 11:28 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 723

You deserved it 12 839

By Marlon - 11/12/2010 08:18 - United States

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend at her mom's birthday party, in front of her whole family. They even got it on video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 655

You deserved it 3 929

By Noname - 17/01/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 738

You deserved it 39 232

By Maiar - 13/01/2015 17:42 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 584

You deserved it 4 252

Blackout drunk

By MagnusDeus - 07/06/2015 15:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 1 744

By juggalomurderer59 - 12/11/2014 16:00 - United States

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 709

You deserved it 9 493

By Anonymous - 29/08/2017 16:00

Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 326

You deserved it 1 061

By "jojolovesyou134" - 31/03/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I decided to stand up to my bosses for making me lose money and work with heat stroke... while my co worker got to go home early I had to work 2 hours later. Turns out I got a supervisor in trouble for making me work when there was help allocated. Now I have to walk on eggshells, FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 106

You deserved it 219

By Anonymous - 02/07/2019 12:07

Today, I had breakfast at a hotel in Jamaica. The bill came to $1087 Jamaican Dollars, which is roughly $8.30 USD. When they swiped my Visa card, the hotel accidentally charged me $1087 USD. That's the most expensive omelet I've had in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 19:19 - Botswana - Francistown

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 853

You deserved it 5 974

CLAWS

By Attacksloth32 - 09/07/2021 01:59

Today, my cat was sleeping on me while I was laying in bed. I had to use the washroom, so I pushed him off. Except he used my testicles as a way to latch on to me, through my underwear. Let's just say, after having to change the sheets due to blood, I'm considering wearing a jockstrap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 187

The real me

By Anonymous - 26/01/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, after three days of dating a boy I liked, he came out as gay on his Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 111

By Sallyfromtheseashore - 01/07/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, I wrote a long wall post on my teachers wall on facebook including how much of a douche I thought she was, I wasn't planning on posting it but did on accident, so I quickly deleted it. I felt pretty clever. Did you know facebook sends you emails including what was written on the post? FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 762

You deserved it 89 480

By j_Lauren - 28/01/2013 04:48 - United States

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 518

You deserved it 3 300

By Rae - 04/05/2012 21:09 - United States - Chicago

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 784

You deserved it 3 369

Night terrors

By Tanisha Skye Regeling - 11/06/2020 23:02

Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 30/12/2008 11:16 - France

Today, after going to college for 5 years to become an architect I discover my plumber makes more than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 278

You deserved it 3 746

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 870

You deserved it 40 060

By ouchmynose - 18/02/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 7 075

By stuck - 11/08/2010 12:01 - Australia

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 229

You deserved it 2 898

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Top comments

Ellimac21 14

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Saturday 6 October 2018 12:29

Unless it's your job to stop fights, I think it's illegal to get fired because of that... Congrats for your pregnancy :) !

Damentia564 3

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Saturday 6 October 2018 15:29

sounds like they don't want to pay maturnaty leave.

Ellimac21 14

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Saturday 6 October 2018 12:29

Unless it's your job to stop fights, I think it's illegal to get fired because of that... Congrats for your pregnancy :) !

Kristen Lawless 10

Saturday 6 October 2018 20:12

it depends on what state. I live in Alabama and they can literally fire you for any reason or no reason at all

PenguinPal3017 19

Saturday 6 October 2018 20:16

I think they can fire you for no reason, but any reason? "You're fired for having Jewish heritage" doesn't sound legal to me.

cazziuz1983 9

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Sunday 7 October 2018 2:11

technically they still have to give a reasonable excuse for dismissal even in your home state ,to di other wide opens them to lawsuits and no employer wants that

interesting33 36

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Sunday 7 October 2018 3:40

but surely that is discrimination. are you saying they can legally fire you for being black or female or getting pregnant or not having sex with the boss?

Amy78_fml 11

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Saturday 6 October 2018 13:43

That sounds like bullshit! The most I would do to break up a fight is to holler at them to knock it off or throw cold water at them.

what??? 17

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Saturday 6 October 2018 13:48

throw water on them

fjvitt 14

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Saturday 6 October 2018 13:50

And he might get sued for discrimination.

mehimhere 11

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Saturday 6 October 2018 14:17

unless your a bouncer... but still no.. they cant fault you for not stepping in when your about to pop as is.

Damentia564 3

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Saturday 6 October 2018 15:29

sounds like they don't want to pay maturnaty leave.

xxWTFxx1981 21

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Saturday 6 October 2018 16:16

Anyone that fires a pregnant women is looking at a automatic lawsuit... I think he just wants you gone now rather then having to wait for you to return after giving birth...

avanillachai 3

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Saturday 6 October 2018 20:24

Worked as a corrections officer... Even at 8 months pregnant, I had to be able to perform the essential functions of my job, including potentially being involved in fights, to maintain my position as an officer. If this was an essential function of your job and you couldn't perform it, thats on you. If not, you might have a case against them.

Nebraskawreck 19

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Wednesday 31 October 2018 19:53

my job is to make coffee haha :) I think I might

A Frenchy in Eire 31

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Friday 2 November 2018 22:18

This is ridiculous... Clearly your employer had zero concern for your safety if they saw it was appropriate for a heavily pregnant woman to still be exposed to potential violence. Couldn't they put you behind a desk or something?

KingAdrock 16

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Thursday 8 November 2018 21:34

Sounds like she works in an office, that's not quite the same as being a POLICE OFFICER.

Kristoffer 35

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Saturday 6 October 2018 21:19

I don't care if you're 7'6", 500 lbs, and can bench press an F150. You should not be expected to break up a fight unless you're some sort of security guard or peace officer.

Victor Hill 1

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Sunday 7 October 2018 5:13

I would have told your boss to explain...if he expects you to break up fist fights while you are that pregnant then you should be getting paid at least $50 per hour and be on paid Maternity leave right from the moment you discover you are pregnant