Miscellaneous: Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often,...

By PWI_addict - 03/01/2010 17:11 - United States

Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 35 593

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Same thing different taste

By 5p4571k - 25/05/2014 17:35 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 973

You deserved it 7 583

By Chef stupid - 11/08/2016 15:32 - United States - Houston

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 171

You deserved it 2 546

By figgy - 29/11/2010 10:46 - United States

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 6 097

Happy wife, happy life, right?

By tradwife blues - 22/08/2023 15:02 - United States

Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 05:00 - United States - El Paso

Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 390

Kitchen Nightmares

By just the tip, though - 28/01/2014 17:06 - United States - Grovetown

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 043

You deserved it 11 943

Chop chop

By shaz - 27/04/2023 10:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 132

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 4 475

Slicy slicy

By nessacadesa - 24/03/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 993

You deserved it 58 501

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 145

You deserved it 1 001

Blahp 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:18

Well, be more careful? Sorry though.

ThankYhuCaptinOb 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 23:21

sorry it must of hurt but really I'm sorry I chose YDI becuase you have a great imagination but cooking .... you nee to be more careful lol

Comments

thatsfunny8 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:26

YDI...but I have to say I can totally see that happening to me :/

baybe143 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:29

OUCH!

tman118 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:32

ydi for having a thumb

racherose 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:32

...I've done that before XD

Ellodie_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 1:40

it happens to me often. but it was completely open, just beside the nail

TJT 0

Monday 4 January 2010 2:09

so I guess your lunch got some extra "tomato sauce"

LetsGoSox 0

Monday 4 January 2010 2:37

#38 Haha that was great.

Amber14Marie 0

Monday 4 January 2010 2:27

I've done that while opening a can for sloppy joes. I feel your pain

randomAccount 0

Monday 4 January 2010 2:31

y do u feel the need to post something like this, especially when it involves you beig in pain and need of medical assistance?

lucifer69_fml 0

Monday 4 January 2010 2:48

AT LEAST YOU WERE IN THE KITCHEN

Peroxide 3

Monday 4 January 2010 2:51

Why do people keep saying this? If spilling bodily fluids all over your food is cute then im a ******* romantic.

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The Top

Today, a man was struggling up some slippery steps with a pram, when his sunglasses fell from his head. I hurried to pick them up for him, as he had no free hands, but instead accidentally stood on them, snapping them in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 390

You deserved it 16 932

Today, I received the newspaper from my hometown. My ex-husband's wedding announcement and picture were on the front page. His new wife has the same first name as me. All my Facebook friends from high school commented on how much weight I've lost and how good I look in my wedding photo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 668

You deserved it 3 582

Today, a woman laughed after hearing my voice for the first time. This happens whenever I meet someone new, without fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 042

You deserved it 3 250

Today, my dad told me to knock it off with my "stupid gangster walk", saying it made me look like an idiot. I didn't have the balls to admit I'd sharted my pants and was awkwardly waddling to the bathroom to clean myself up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 837

You deserved it 2 258

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 469

You deserved it 4 161

Today, I invited my deadbeat dad over for dinner, hoping we could resolve our issues and build a proper relationship. Just minutes after he arrived, I caught him stealing money from my purse. He actually said I owe him for raising me. He ditched my mom and me when I was 5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 976

You deserved it 4 207