Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was cutting potatoes. I was cutting them slowly, being careful, but my mom told me to cut faster, that I wouldn't cut myself. I cut myself. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
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Top comments
Blahp 0
Well, be more careful? Sorry though.
ThankYhuCaptinOb 0
sorry it must of hurt but really I'm sorry I chose YDI becuase you have a great imagination but cooking .... you nee to be more careful lol
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Comments (95)
PurpleKuSh_fml 0
that sux
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP is a retard! If you don't have the skills don't try using a knife.
delgado07 0
YDI for wanting to be like Emeril or whatever his name is.
TheSpoof 0
you are a douche. that is all
roz780 0
Aww I'm sorry!! I was a prep cook at French camp last summer and learned a few things about knife safety that I feel like everyone should know. They taught us to grip the knife partly by the blade, and guide it using a few knuckles with the rest of your fingers tucked underneath, making sure not to let your thumb wander over. That way if you cut yourself you'll hopefully only skim a knuckle.
fitzyfitz 0
oh no! you cut your finger! your life is definately ****** now.
BloodMage 0
PWI_Addict? As in Perfect World International? I effing LOVE that game!!!!!!! Don't get any blood on your keyboard.................
boatkicker 5
No, the people who cut their own fingers and then SUE the TV show/company are the reason for the 'do not try this at home' warnings. Most of those people are probably doing it intentionally as a quick and easy way to make a buck. I once even met someone who bragged about all the stupid law suits she won (4 of them.) It's obnoxious, but more often than not its caused by lazy people, not people who are clumsy.
cel123456789 0
how u telling us this?! I hate when ppl just make up fml's
gigi2009 0
HOW is this a ydi?!