Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
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Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Ugh, I HATE when people say that, it's so stupid, and it doesn't sound cute like they think it does.
ThatScaryKidd 0
Parent's just don't understand
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Comments (163)
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
Hahahah! That's awesome! Embarrassing, but awesome. My Mom says something like that outloud when she has to pee really badly: "I have to go tinkle before I sprinkle all over the floor!" Oh my god where do they get these from?
um_duh 0
I call bullshit on this one because we don't say "tinkle" in Australia, and the OP is from Queensland...
your_face 15
So everyone in Australia talks exactly the same way? There's not even a remote chance that the OP's mother does, in fact, say "tinkle," despite being in Queensland? Maybe she was using the word simply for the sake of the rhyme.
Nightfallz 0
yes you need say more. your brothers hot old friends are not going to hook up with you. and stop pissing all over the toilet. it's not hard to make it in the bowl.
aback 5
You "squat and hover" in your own house? Just how skanky are the people you live with? XD
noshitsherlock 0
YOU DESERVE IT for being a dirtyass, nasty slob. Wipe your own pee off the seat if you get it on there! Nasty.
Crickmasta 0
I have a sign that says that...
well_this_sucks 0
you shouldn't have sprinkled when you tinkled. xD sorry that sucks though
triplethreat13 0
that is GOLD!!! hahaha i totally feel your pain though, my brother has hot friends and i would just about die if that happened to me..
mehwhateverr 0
"Uh, what? That wasn't me." The end. FYL anyway, though.
fishyfingaz 0
fwiw there was a sign almost identical at a hotel i stayed at in england over 10 years ago. i think it could have possibly reached australia by now :P