Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
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Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Ugh, I HATE when people say that, it's so stupid, and it doesn't sound cute like they think it does.
ThatScaryKidd 0
Parent's just don't understand
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Comments (163)
strawberryswirl 0
What's so hard about sitting on the goddamn toilet? Especially your toilet at home? So what if your ass touches it? Are you licking your own ass daily? Does it mean other people should have to be dehumanized into wiping YOUR disgusting piss off the toilet seat? You deserve it. Hell, you deserved having your face rubbed all over the seat.
NoteMyGrin 0
One: Your mom is adorable. Two: You don't want to get involved with your brother's friends. No matter how hot they are. Three: Just freaking wipe the seatie.
purplepickle 0
ok this is annoying so im just going to tell you guys that girls can get drops of pee on the seat too, even though they sit its just that most of them wipe it off and your mom is so funny haha
melchior_fml 0
YDI for being a female and "sprinkling". how on earth do you get your pee on the seat when you're sitting on it?
capital_seven 0
It's possible for a chick to spray over the seat. It's either that, or getting on your thighs...I'm nice to my family and piss on my fat self on the toilet.
slashers_fml 0
That was on iCarly. Freddy's mom said it. :( Either your mother watches iCarly, or this is fake!
joshua70448 0
There are a lot of people that use that phrase, or similar versions of it. You don't honestly believe that some Nickelodeon television show invented that phrase, do you? I guarantee you that phrase is older than you are.
sickinlove13 0
Wow. Learn how to pee! How do you pee on the toilet sit if you're a girl and have to sit down? Maybe I'm just doing it wrong, but I don't get any on the seat when I pee.
banana2022 4
Don't be nasty then and wipe the damn seat. And you're a girl? How the hell do you even do that? I sure as hell don't. But if I did, I would WIPE THE SEAT. YDI!
Guitarist45 0
The op never says if they're a guy or a girl, I assume it's a guy, cuz how do girls piss on the seat?????
Xx_Mute_xX 0
hahahaha! I heard that quote on MadTv!