Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, I heard my mom sobbing in the bathroom. Concerned, I went in to see what was wrong. I found her sitting on the toilet, pants down and a cigarette between her fingers. When I asked what was going on, she looked up at me and slurred that we'd run out of "shit-wipes." FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shlizabeth 0
Ugh, I HATE when people say that, it's so stupid, and it doesn't sound cute like they think it does.
ThatScaryKidd 0
Parent's just don't understand
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (163)
isthisonetaken 0
well i guess youre no sweetie... thats ok if they were good friends with your brother, you would have stood no chance with them anyway.
tranekfny 0
thats what u get for tryin to date older guys.
islaphippos 0
aww :(. hug?
katie72 6
Yes please ;)
tipsy337 0
Ydi. Clean the seat you dirty bitch.
Guairdean 0
Don't pee on the seat (and surrounding floor) and this won't happen. I'd have brought you the cleaning materials and made you clean up your mess regardless of who was there.
ChurchofFagenism 0
how did you piss on the seat?! Take a seat dude, it's hard to aim standing up if you're a girl...or get one of those lady funnel things hahah
swooshq 0
haha those things are so freakin weird [the funnel things]. Never used one but still they look weird. OP, i get it that some girls hover, but in your own home? Just use the toilet normallly and maybe you wont "sprinkle". That, "Mortified", is yuckie.
kellster 2
How hard is it to check the seat when you're done? No one wants to clean up other people's pee! Here's hoping the embarrassment will have taught you the lesson!
skullbuster 0
OP (Mortified): I think what has left me mortified is that you are a woman and you 'sprinkle' when you 'tinkle'. On the upside, you are from Australia so it probably didn't sound as infantile with the cool accent, huh?
ChurchofFagenism 0
oh snap
DemonicAngel151 0
O.O THAT'S DISGUSTING! YDI!
cucumberfabulous 7
That's like my little brother.. whenever he goes to take a piss he never aims and pees everywhere.. I know he does that on purpose just to mess with me because every time someone tries to tell him to aim, he just laughs and makes up the most lamest excuses ....