Miscellaneous: Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful...

By La Guigne - 08/04/2013 21:10 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 648

You deserved it 7 883

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Same thing different taste

Shut up!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 967

You deserved it 11 216

By Brendan - 19/02/2011 21:23 - Canada

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 967

You deserved it 4 144

By screwedupfuck - 27/03/2015 21:19 - United States - Lowell

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 066

By robert - 31/01/2012 00:20 - United States

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 458

You deserved it 4 215

By fired - 23/11/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 223

You deserved it 65 485

He who smelled it…

By Anonymous - 31/01/2015 15:08 - United States - Venus

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 046

You deserved it 2 706

Broadcast

By suspended - 25/07/2015 00:59 - United States - Englewood

Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 194

You deserved it 27 042

Reluctant

By bruised - 15/08/2015 15:47 - United States - Jacksonville Beach

Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 129

You deserved it 1 958

Snarky

By great - 10/02/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 567

You deserved it 75 235

By Anonymous - 29/05/2016 05:05 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 223

You deserved it 1 515

Welshite 39

Tuesday 9 April 2013 0:51

You can't really say you didn't mean it, though.

benhd1 14

Tuesday 9 April 2013 0:54

"And while your at it, the window too."

Comments

NurseJonathan 9

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:15

Really? Do bosses now and days not know the fine line between a joke and rudeness? Seems like a position of power goes to one's head.

CinnamonBunny 16

Tuesday 9 April 2013 8:46

It's "nowadays", not "now and days". Also, I think you may be a bit too young to use that phrase...

NurseJonathan 9

Tuesday 9 April 2013 16:45

I try to work at it. I'd prefer not to be associated with the unintelligent drones this generation has been producing.

CinnamonBunny 16

Tuesday 9 April 2013 23:51

Admirable, but kindness is also a part of maturity. Arrogance is not. Not everyone in this generation is a mindless drone.

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:17

Cedric the Non-Entertainer never could follow in his brother's footsteps.

ironichalibut 24

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:43

So tragic, the same thing happens to almost all celebrity siblings, like Elvis' younger brother, The Duke.

Uhscanherdarklee 10

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:18

Could have said you were talking to the window and Cedric is what you call it. Just boils down to which is worse: Having everyone think you're a loon who names and talks to inanimate objects or having your seemingly obnoxious boss upset with you for trash talking him. How convincing are you at playing a crazy person Op?

Ultimate_No 7

Tuesday 9 April 2013 2:00

No.

Uhscanherdarklee 10

Tuesday 9 April 2013 2:30

My comment might not be the best but your unoriginal one word response might be worse. Stick to the thumb down button buddy. Or at least come up with a original way to say you don't like it.

NurseJonathan 9

Tuesday 9 April 2013 3:13

What?

\ 28

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:27

Never hesitate to speak your mind. Or at least your subconcious

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 9 April 2013 16:24

Just not out loud.

s15c 9

Tuesday 9 April 2013 21:44

71- I don't know about you, but the last time I tried speaking my mind but not out loud, a whole lot wasn't accomplished.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:30

You could've laughed it off. Like saying his jokes were too damn funny or something...

lalala1896 6

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:36

Awkward if he fires you now...

noelasis94 18

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:41

And your leaving words could have been whos the boss now biatch?

Dcm210 19

Tuesday 9 April 2013 1:49

Shit happens, hopefully you still have a job.

natalia18oo 12

Tuesday 9 April 2013 3:08

Umm idk if it's because Im not from the united kingdom, but this makes absolutely no sense to me!!

BubbleGrunge 18

Tuesday 9 April 2013 3:43

I'm a little lost too...someone care to explain? We're a little off our game tonight! :) I mean, who walked by? The boss? Because I thought the boss was I'm the break room....