Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
"I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth." Sounds like my ex-wife.
DocBastard 38
It's ok, I'm a doctor and I can help you. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. It's the only cure. Sorry.
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Comments (124)
Bigbird16 0
Thats grody!!!!!! Ewwwwieeeeeee!!!!!!!!
MoldinRooster 0
It's Just Soap...
IdkPIZZA 0
One of my friends drank a whole bunch of soap when she was 5, and then she started burping out bubbles...
Koolala 0
there are worse things to find on your toothbrush, like hobo piss, or a kidney stone. I'm just sayin'.
pip74205 9
Be honest. You knew that you had been saying some bad words and were washing your mouth out with soap.
sallen0046 4
Yet another case of "my life is ****** because I don't pay attention to what I'm doing". Everyone makes mistakes, unless you cause yourself permanent damage, it's not a life ******* situation.
Sparx1_1 16
So basically you've done what almost every single person here has done, or will do, at least once in their life and you think this is so horrible that your life is now ruined... did that about cover it? If you think this is really bad, then the rest of your life is going to be one long fml event after another.
DakotaCat 4
That's what you get for say
DakotaCat 4
You shouldn't have said the F word.. Now wash your mouf off wif that soap!
3secondstolaunch 0
Hmm.. Then what did you use to wash your private? xP