Today, I was in the bathroom in a rush to get ready. Without thinking, I put hand soap on my toothbrush. I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML
Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, like every morning, I washed my mouthguard with bar soap. Tonight, though, I realized I hadn’t rinsed as well as I should have, there's soap between my teeth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, I was washing my hands in my workplace's bathroom and caught my reflection in the mirror. I had toothpaste smeared all over my cheek. I spent the rest of the day wondering how many people had noticed and said nothing. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, as I was doing my make-up, I needed a Q-tip to fix a mistake. I took one out the box and put it in my mouth to get it wet. Too bad someone had used it before to clean their ears. FML
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Top comments
DrAwesome 6
"I didn't notice until it was already in my mouth." Sounds like my ex-wife.
DocBastard 38
It's ok, I'm a doctor and I can help you. Go play leapfrog with a unicorn. It's the only cure. Sorry.
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Comments (124)
Doortje 29
Did you curse prior to this? If so, YDI.
juniefry 0
how is this ydi..?
Chinnithy 0
Exactly! I would still have continued to brush my teeth.
petrolhead 12
oh thats not a fml. dentist some time advise ppl to brush from soap too....not a big deal
spanelli 16
Some English professors also advise proper spelling.
bigbadtim 7
You must have a real potty mouth. That is why most people have to wash their mouths out with soap.
bedburgular 0
shut up ******
FlashBurn 13
Does that mean they use a lot of foul language or talk a lot of shit like #57 here?
spanelli 16
Take your own advice you queer.
perdix 29
You've surely dropped a few f-bombs here and there, so you needed to wash that mouth out with soap. Unfortunately, you are probably going to go blind, of . . . thoap poithoning!
iheartglasses 0
Omg your life is completely ruined! Rinse your brush, rinse your mouth. Apply regular paste and I doubt the taste of soap will remain... Even if a friend told me this happened to them, I dont even think I would laugh. It might get a little snort at best and a "You retard" comment :)
FFML_314 11
Where does it say that these stories are life ruiners? If you don't like the story, why comment on it? It's up for a reason.
Seanie 0
not to split hairs, but it does stand for '**** my life'...does it not?
FFML_314 11
Who are you talking to?
RedPillSucks 31
It's meant to be for stuff that messes up a moment or day for you. No one would be on this site if it was full of things like; Today, my village was raided and I was raped. My brother was forced to fight for the army while I was used as a sex slave. FML. Today, my doctor cut off the wrong leg. They still had to remove the other cancerous one. FML. Today, I back out of the drive way and ran over my son. FML
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Today, I died. FML
Seanie 0
it was supposed to be under 38
tayebee 0
should have check up on it beforehand
deviable 9
does your hand soap come in a tube??
staceystar15 0
how the hell do you mistake hand soap for tooth paste, even if your in a rush??