Today, I was in my car studying on the campus parking lot. It was cold outside so I had the windows up. I had a severe upset stomach and was privately drowning in my own flatulence. Moments later, my crush knocks on the window to ask me something. I had to roll the windows down. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, whilst driving, I had the sudden urge to vomit. As I pulled over I wound my window down, stuck my head out, and emptied my stomach. At least I would have if I had wound down the driver's window instead of the back window. FML
Today, my boss offered to give me a ride on her way home. Two seconds before getting into the car, I had to let out a fart. I didn't think the fart would follow me in, but it did. She rolled down the windows, and we lapsed into a silent, awkward ride home. FML
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I was at the library studying. There was a really cute guy across the room. I decided to play it cool and walk his way and grab some water. Right as I walked by, my body decided to let out the loudest fart. He laughed. I kept walking and asked my friend to grab my books. FML
Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML
Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine - until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to leave, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML
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Top comments
ArthursLifeSucks 2
Roll down the opposite one first. Your life stinks. heehee.
chalkdust 4
lol @ "privately drowning in my own flatulence"
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Comments (51)
jmeg_fml 0
haha aw. you couldve snuck out the passenger side, then come around to where he was standing. possibly awkward, but probably not -more- awkward than the alternative.
Not_Yet_Rated 0
i agree. op could have pretended the driver side door was jammed...
jonny2x4 0
You were basking in your own aroma? You mean you couldn't just light a match? Or do you have a fart fetish?
ily1210 10
this made my day, #14
misspeg 0
wouldn't u have wound down the window temporarily if it really smelt that bad? or u could be like me. I fart HEAPS but my farts don't smell unless I ate can soup or I'm due for a session with the toilet. oh dear, too much info
Witchcraft_fml 5
Did green gas billow out through the windows when you rolled them down, or was it more like an explosion?
Skull_300 0
Why the **** were you sitting in your own stench admiring it when you've got an upset stomach? You're lucky you didn't fill your own lap with puke? Did your crushes eyes glaze over when your funk hit them up beside the head? You nasty ass!
perdix 31
Technically, you could SUFFOCATE in your own flatulence. You could drown in your own diarrhea. You're welcome in advance.
Witchcraft_fml 5
One could choke on the end results of constipation, but I'd worry more about why he/she was trying to eat their poo.
char9498 0
Poor you, that seems like something that would happen to me, lol
KapiTezuka 0
Why do you study in your car anyway?
528Alice491 3
Sometimes the time gaps between classes is an hour or two and not worth the drive home and back. A lot of people sit around to study between classes.
NessieWicked 9
Oofie. You need help. I bet you're crush hates you now.
birds_fml 7
HAHAHAHA! I feel for you, OP. And for all you people questioning this... studying in your car is sometimes better than studying in the library. It's more private, and for those of us who get cold easily the car is usually warmer what with the sun shining through the windows. And no one thinks their own farts are nasty to them. Farts only stink to other people.