Today, I was in bed, thinking about my crush and playing with myself, when I remembered the complicated spreadsheet my boss asked me to make tomorrow. That got me more excited than the thought of my crush. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I accidentally called out the coworker I have a crush on’s name in bed instead of my wife’s. The thing is, thinking about her is the only thing that will keep me hard and brought to orgasm. FML
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees when I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I got so bored, I made a "to do" list for the week in my head. FML
Today, I finally got the guts to ask out my crush. She said yes and I was really happy. Then I woke up. FML
Today, thanks to a very intense sexual dream, I suddenly have a strong (and lustful) crush on a coworker, making me gasp every time I see them. I'm happily married. And pregnant. FML
Today, I was working by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated, I started to moan and say dirty things… Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
Today, I found an old USB drive in a drawer and spent the afternoon going through the files, expecting embarrassing photos from school. Instead, I found a spreadsheet I'd made at 16, listing every person I had a crush on, complete with rankings and notes. I'm now terrified someone will find my “Top 10” list. FML
Today, I told my coworker who I have been crushing on for a while, that I really enjoyed our time last night. I immediately realized that the time we spent last night was in my sex dream. FML
Today, I made my whole grocery list out in my head. While having sex with my fiancee. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Altrown_fml 0
I laughed so ******* hard. MERGE MY CELLS, BABY! OH YEAH! WRAP THAT TEXT! GIVE ME A HEADING FORMAT!
cracktus 0
You can be aroused by things other than sexual thoughts. Pretty much anything that's present and strong in your mind can get you going.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (51)
Sindy_fml 4
LMFAO #5 =]
muffinz85 0
wow..you got aroused by a freakin spreadsheet and not your crush? i have to do them all the time in highscool and i hate them so much..
AlaskaAnt 0
#5 lol
how_to_implode 17
Sometimes pressure creates arousal .... Er, mental pressure. Not giving any tips here.
LGshorty 0
u. r. really. weird
ash92_fml 0
um. you need to get laid.
billyhirvine09 0
you need to get some
pstrommen 3
nah, good for you OP, means you love your job :D
bigjoekickass 0
you know what u need ,u need to get laid
sullifreshh 0
the fact that you are old enough to have a job where your boss gives you spreadsheets, and you still call the guy you like a "crush" and ********** to his image is really freaking weird.
natsaysheyyy 16
So you're more stimulated by your thirst for knowledge and success over some guy you're not even dating... Okay, how is that an FML?