Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML
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Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML
Today, my mother tried to have a conversation with me. While she was taking a piss. With the bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, I visited my mother's new apartment, and found a picture of yours truly hanging above her toilet, and I asked why it was there. She shrugged and said, "Because the thought of you makes me want to take a shit?" FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Well, Orbit is always there to use afterwards. I'd still like to know where the hell they tested shit particles flying up in a parabolic arc 25 feet into the air though.
null_fml 11
Well, at least your old friend has a reason not to talk to you for years again.
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Comments (70)
plexico 4
I don't think it is physically possible for poop particles to fly 25 feet from a flush. However, when the shit hits the fan. . .
neon_shoes 0
Ahaha. I love you.
USMC2LTS00N 0
dude, evreybody's mom ebarrasses them every now and then in front of friends.
boone_fml 0
Where in jersey are you? Tell your mom I said hi
lahp 0
it really does not matter... faecal matter can be found on every ones tooth brush.. whether or not it is near a toilet :) and yes it is true not closing the lid when you "poop" can add to the amount on there... it isn't a big deal... especially if you run it under hot water instead of cold before you brush :) the particles will still be there but most the bacteria will be killed =]
Brooklynxman 0
Poop. Particles. She actually said that? Wow.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
#34.. I'm a little concerned about you. :S
LifeInTheShadows 0
u could've turned that moment into an inside joke, it doesn't have to be a FML, but if you feel really embarrassed after that, i understand...just try to be a little more creative next time your mom decides to say something like that...=P just make sure that she doesn't give you "the talk" when ur video chatting with friends... but if she does, i want to see it posted as an FML =P
Glam_fml 0
I never knew having normal bodily functions was now a cause for yoir life being ******. Today, I woke up and took a piss. FML.
TheTruth1428 0
Missing the point. It's not that she pooed, it's that her mom announced it to her friend. Normal people don't run up to others and go, "I took a shit today, isn't that wonderful?"
Sevventh 0
You corrupted your mother, she has never heard such a thing in her entire life, go to hell now. GO!
TheTruth1428 0
Way to totally miss the point. It's not the act she's embarrassed with, it's that her mom bust in the room and started talking about it. Bowel Movements aren't a proper conversation topic, unless there is a problem and you're talking to a doctor. When is the last time you went up to a friend and said, "Have you pooped today? How did that go for you?" It's just not proper conversation.