Glad my mom doesn't reapply love me.

23) you look fucking delicious. *CHOMP*

He is an apple...

Red Delicious are the best apples around. Not pink lady.

38 Yes and? Apples are tasty as fuck bro

Its to remind her no matter how constipated she is it will never be as bad as giving birth

Pooping is like giving birth for men.

Maybe she was implying the sight of OP relaxed her. I for one feel pretty relieved after taking a shit.

38... There was no mention of apples... The word is reAPPLY... As in, maybe you can apply this new knowledge to future communications.

83- #38 was referring to the comment that #31 made about eating the user with an apple picture. 38 didn't really get the joke I suppose.

:-( but they are!

So 83 tries SO hard to be smart and bitch someone out thinking "Awww ya im going to tell this kid off and get so many upvotes". But is completely oblivious to the fact that she is about to make a fool of herself because she has no idea what's going on. I find that hilarious.

Yeah, not that great to be thought of in that way :/

I don't give a shit this fml isn't bad. The mother was probably just making a rude joke.

I thought it was funny

Extreme example, but if I wanted to kill you, wouldn't I be thinking of you too?

Sigh* here comes all the shitty puns...

D: I've been reading comments for long enough now to know that sort of pun would get me buried. My most humble apologies. *bows*

... Mmm, popcorn. *noms on 3*

Eww, leave me alone you drug-addicted chipmunk :(

What bitch? *noms more* :P

What a crappy way to die, having your face eaten off by a chipmunk high on bath salts.

IM NOT HIGH ON BATH SALTS.

Ahhhh don't eat my face!!!!!!!

I'll eat all of you bitches! I'm a rich ass raptor!

Bitch please. I'm a poor ass chipmunk.

This has to be the funniest thing I've ever read on FML.....

Squeaky...you must really have the munchies. First the apple then the popcorn. Wanna share?!

NO. FUCK NO. ... Unless you haz some nuts. And not the perverted kind. :L

Read that in cleveland browns voice :p

I read it in that one lady's voice from that lemonade song. :c the one with the horse and the universe.

Look at my horse. My horse is amazing. Give it a lick...

I read it in my voice... 'cause i've only got one :(

You want a mom that thinks of shit whenever she sees you?

Hey Axelo your cute lol. ;D

Congratulations, you have the first non down-voted comment on this FML!

Brace yourselves, more poop related fmls will lead to shitty situation puns.

First of all... Love this pic so true and also hahaha

Well you could kill them, that is if you don't mind lethal injections or a life time of sodomy. By the way I love your profile name haha.

Your reply kind of killed the joke, no offense

SssssssssssssSSSSS *BOOM* Damn it, not again...

47- Thanks

Unlike all the other assholes we kill daily...