Health: Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't...

By Poop - 02/10/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 3 207

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Same thing different taste

By me - 08/06/2012 14:00 - United States - Carthage

Today, I was taking a shower. My mom thinks it's ok to just walk in on someone when they are in there so she decides to take a crap. The worst part is she thought it would be less awkward to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 454

You deserved it 2 702

Shock and awe

By Embarassed Girl - 14/07/2022 02:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 746

By Anonymous - 13/05/2013 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 5 239

By ok cool - 13/10/2015 01:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 133

You deserved it 2 882

Well did you?

By Kagura - 02/06/2010 15:05 - Turkey

Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 332

You deserved it 3 807

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I was on the toilet, when my Mom thought it would be a fun idea to barge in, take a picture of me, post it on Facebook, and tag me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 513

You deserved it 4 393

Open door policy

By Anonymous - 09/03/2021 23:01

Today, my mom yelled at me for not pooping with the bathroom door open like the rest of the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 73

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 1 195

By birdisnottheword - 11/03/2015 13:55 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 921

You deserved it 8 872

By whyme27 - 06/06/2012 01:19 - United States - South Bend

Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 547

You deserved it 4 350

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 2 October 2009 9:36

Well, Orbit is always there to use afterwards. I'd still like to know where the hell they tested shit particles flying up in a parabolic arc 25 feet into the air though.

null_fml 11

Friday 2 October 2009 9:47

Well, at least your old friend has a reason not to talk to you for years again.

Comments

allmidnighteyes 10

Friday 2 October 2009 9:36

Well, Orbit is always there to use afterwards. I'd still like to know where the hell they tested shit particles flying up in a parabolic arc 25 feet into the air though.

So_Yeah 0

Friday 2 October 2009 11:52

They test for bacteria present in faeces, and see where else its found. You have a whole colony of bacteria that lives exclusively in your colon, so if its found on your toothbrush there's only one place it could have come from... so unless some people have some rather odd hygeine rituals... its from the toilet.

mushoo_fml 0

Friday 2 October 2009 17:23

Your toothbrush is stored 25 feet above the toilet?

xenomorph 0

Friday 2 October 2009 17:33

More like when the toilet is flushed, air bubbles form, and when they pop, mist is sprayed everywhere. It's as effective as Glade in a can, only instead of a fragrance, it leaves [i]E. coli[/i] everywhere. And if you close the lid, next one to open it gets it in his/her face. Best countermeasure: the fan.

Reyo 2

Friday 2 October 2009 18:38

I think a chip is inplanted into new parents that allowes them to talk about the most random ass shit at the worst time possible. I was on a wi-fi chat with a friend from school, and after hours and hours of not saying anything, my Mom decided that THIS 5 minute interval was the right time to descuss the underwear that was washing in the washingmachine. Dear lord...