Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet.... - FML

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 331

You deserved it 71 440

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Same thing different taste

Ah, young love…

By HotAsTits - 20/03/2011 20:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my parents thought it would be appropriate to tell my girlfriend that I used to stick my penis in a sock puppet and talk to it when I was younger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 980

You deserved it 10 472

Not so anal retentive then…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2017 22:00 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 344

You deserved it 734

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Spicy

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 736

You deserved it 4 409

Nailed it

By anon - 21/12/2013 14:13 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 118

You deserved it 12 902

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 18 697

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 535

You deserved it 19 396

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 6 264

By GetHardOrGoHome - 31/03/2012 04:22 - United States - Chardon

Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 581

You deserved it 3 495

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 7 587

By ryan - 10/02/2010 15:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Its was pretty good and heavy and she was moaning nicely. Then her moans got softer and softer and then nothing. She fell asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 459

You deserved it 6 820

Next

Top comments

porcelainkisses 5

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

I laughed so hard when I read this. YDI.

coballan55 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 9:07

is she hot?

Comments

DeeBaby74 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 14:12

Wow dude i think u should jus go gay!!

cubie21 7

Thursday 3 February 2011 14:36

wow. that's really sad.

angryamericanx 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 17:00

never trust a sock puppet, my cousin got herpes from one!

JayDaJew 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:00

Finnaly another person. You see mom im not a conplete social outcast. :-p

buggybeauty 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:15

how'd this get approved? whoever moderated it should be killed.

LOLSWAT 0

Friday 4 February 2011 3:33

dont u mean "a COCKpuppet?"

musicchick1712 0

Thursday 24 March 2011 4:46

^^^ haha win

loveanna928 2

Friday 4 February 2011 3:51

omfg?!?! how does that work lmao . get a girlfriend , or when your feet are cold , wear your "gf"

phazon000 1

Friday 4 February 2011 4:49

great success

thebigslim 13

Friday 4 February 2011 5:58

The **** is wrong with you?!?!?!

duburich 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:18

hahaha wow so did you even take her out to dinner or a movie first? does she have a foot fetish? haha you are one cheap individual.. they make blow up dolls too Hahah (if you are that desperate) and don't worry just let your doll wear your current gf.. make it a threesome bahahaha

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The Top

Today, while working as a receptionist at a health clinic a woman came to settle her account. Before she left, she held out her closed palm and asked if I could put something in the bin for her. I held out my hand and watched many bits of chewed fingernails land in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 619

You deserved it 2 723

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 201

You deserved it 7 094

The Top

Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 112

Today, I've actually developed a crush on a guy I never intended to crush on, and also can't have. For one he's married and utterly devoted to his wife. And even if that weren't true, he's so far out of my league I need binoculars to see him. And to top it all of? He's fictional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 397

You deserved it 6 289

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 146

You deserved it 4 532

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 123

You deserved it 3 343

Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 211

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 168

You deserved it 3 868