Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML
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Top comments
PrincessCastiel 27
...Happy Birthday!!
Saywat145 17
I guess his party started a little earlier...
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Comments (74)
alicat13 12
Did you report him for driving under the influence?
Tynysha 4
happy birthday
skyhighh 9
I wish my dad was that cool.
skyturtle 9
There is nothing cool about drunk driving.
brittyboo123 35
Well someone sure wanted to make the day all about themselves!
SexiChula91 3
lmao OP's name killed me tho! Best one yet!
the_truth_lives 9
At least your dad remembered your birthday when he was blind drunk:/
nipun 17
well he is a Show Stopper
Sachoow_fml 7
Why ? :0
thatlegit 11
People shouldn't condone to drinking and driving.
yusaku02 20
huh.... OP's name suggests they are muslim which makes the alcohol very baffling...