Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. It was also my birthday party. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk off his ass. So drunk that he couldn't manage to open the refrigerator, and ended up punching it in a fit of rage. When I tried to calm him down and get him to bed, he told me to fuck off, and grounded me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
PrincessCastiel 27
...Happy Birthday!!
Saywat145 17
I guess his party started a little earlier...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (74)
Rajni_dev 12
Now you know what to do on his birthday. Happy birthday OP :)
Sirmrcrowley 12
HAHAHAHA.....sorry, hem...happy birthday!!
Ermony 3
Your the douche who lives downstairs?
dakatabg 31
That was your Bday surprise
obey_nikki_ 9
well i guess he wanted to crash your party and make it a day for you to never forget
Sagan928 7
I think it is time for you to speak to your father about seeking help. Drinking and driving is NOT acceptable.
maggiefox 25
And father of the year goes to...
SnowFangedBeauty 19
alcoholic anonymous?
fackmylife101 3
Sounds like someone I know c;
foxwasalamb 24
"how dare u put this garage door here!!"