Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner... - FML

By clewie - 31/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad showed up to my birthday dinner wasted, was loud and obnoxious the whole time, sexually harassed our waitress, then invited my annoying, bratty nephews to come home and spend the night with us. They're sleeping in my room. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 833

You deserved it 129

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Same thing different taste

By as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker - 05/04/2014 22:04 - United Kingdom - Birkenhead

Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 153

You deserved it 3 509

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 063

You deserved it 3 549

By Anonymous - 16/10/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My dad was supposed to take me to get a tattoo, but instead he went to the bar, got drunk, and told me how I was the biggest mistake he and my mom have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 766

You deserved it 3 981

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 23/04/2015 12:28 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, it was my 18th birthday and I was told I couldn't get the night off work because a party of 34 had booked into the restaurant. It turned out my family had come in to 'celebrate' by making me wait on them. They were a nightmare, thought it was hilarious to be difficult, and didn't tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 391

You deserved it 2 819

David Lee Roth approves

By SNBBFF - 25/10/2011 07:10 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. We had a huge family dinner and everyone was invited, including my boyfriend. My family is kind of stuck-up, so I was very nervous about him meeting them. He got into an argument with my uncle over how "awesome" Van Halen is, and ignored me all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 902

You deserved it 4 308

By Anonymous - 22/08/2014 22:18 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I finally told my dad that I hate his girlfriend. I said her daughter's a complete whore, and her son is annoying as fuck. Turns out they were in the house and within earshot, ready to throw me a birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 49 606

You forgetting something?

By Anonymous - 22/05/2022 20:00 - United States - North Miami Beach

Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 149

Arrested

By shikushiku - 03/08/2016 03:12 - United States - Plano

Today, my father went missing. Naturally worried, we searched his workplace, hospitals, and other locations. Turns out he got arrested for driving around town drunk out of his mind. Oh, and it's my birthday. Thanks for throwing me a great (search) party, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 375

You deserved it 984

On the fence

By fuckyouverymuch - 13/06/2013 10:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, my estranged father, who is a cop, decided to show up to my 17th birthday party. He immediately began arresting people for underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 972

You deserved it 26 760

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 31 August 2019 0:46

Make those little bastards your personal piñatas!

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Saturday 31 August 2019 1:40

You have some slaves to do everything for you

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 31 August 2019 0:46

Make those little bastards your personal piñatas!

ThatOneLonelyAsian 31

Saturday 31 August 2019 1:40

You have some slaves to do everything for you

Sheena Marie Neal 2

Saturday 31 August 2019 20:08

Happy birthday person I share a birthday with.

Bibliovore 26

Sunday 1 September 2019 13:14

Congratulations on being one year closer to moving out, OP.

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 119

Today, the final for a class I'm in is taught by a decrepit old man who apparently has a flunk-out reputation. He spent the entire previous class making a study guide for the final exam, emphasizing, "THIS is on the exam. Know THIS." I studied it hard. Absolutely none of it was on the exam. Everyone failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 197

You deserved it 4 245

Today, for my 18th birthday my mum gave me a black lace thong. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 353

You deserved it 4 168

Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 411

You deserved it 3 229

Today, I found out that when my friends say they're too busy to hang out with me, what they really mean is that they're going to have an awesome pool party, and don't want me to come. The Instagram stories say it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 899

You deserved it 184

Today, I have discovered things not to do while drunk. Like shaving my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 281

You deserved it 40 939

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 191

You deserved it 3 238