Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
Today, I woke up after a really intense wet dream. Problem is, I'd fallen asleep in the living room. My little brother saw the whole thing. Now he's going around telling family I need to get some. FML
Today, I had a sexy dream, woke up and started to masturbate quite vigorously. When I finished, I hopped off the top bunk naked to see my brother and his girlfriend laying in the bottom bunk. FML
Today, I had my first wet dream. I woke up sweating and soaking wet. Too bad I dreamed about having intense sex with a cardboard box. FML
Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
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Top comments
darkaxx 9
I love those dreams until I wake up and then they are the worst.
jesterinperil 28
Not like you had any control over it. You'll look back and laugh one day, head up OP!
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Comments (62)
NORCO4LIFE 3
New apartment for sale, living room decorated with two tone shagged carpet floor.
Coach11 9
Joke of the day? Try joke of the year. Cause that is hilarious!
PePziNL 20
Looks like you have thrust issues OP.
Ahill84 6
I'm sorry but that's going to be a joke for more than a day
MCLENSOK 8
obviously, you don't have sex enough.
cnbcad 15
Why?? You only have really good dreams during dry periods? This happens to most guys so don't sweat it.
Krovels 10
Guess hump day started early
DJDualScreen 4
your life sucks, both because of your roommates, AND the comments section.
Otter1994 7
this just made me laugh. like legit so hard...my husband now thinks I'm nuts for randomly busting up laughing..
Dani0397 9
stroke game A1 lol
yermum6798 7
I actually laughed out loud, pretty hard. thanks op, I needed that.