You learn something new every day

Sounds like it is time to help her get over it.

This illness really sucks for guys. It actually is very embarrassing for men because of they have this illness, their fear will keep them soft similar to erectile dysfunction. It's not as bad for women, because they just have to lay there and take it without fear of a sexual dysfunction.

well your going to have to be very delicate about the situation. I mean f her life, I'm assuming she is young and she would like to have sex but she can't which is horrible for her. I'm sure she is willing to get help do I wish you both luck.

There is actually a sexual dysfunction for women called vaginismus. There are vaginal spasms which make it impossible to women to have sex, instead of pleasure.. It's extreme pain.

This isn't really an illness. Phobias are just something caused by your brain at an early time when you experienced something... So basically it's all in her head, meaning you can slowly help her get over it. The brain is a powerful thing, and it can easily force itself to think one way. This also is te case for being sick. If you have the mentality that you are sick and this is going to be really bad, chances are you're causing it to get worse. If you believe that the sickness doesn't stand a chance at ruining your week, then you'll be fighting it off more effectively. I've never been sick for more than three days on average, because I just say F you sickness! :) (Also it helps to eat honey, eggs, and lemon juice xD)

Why does everyones name match there FML seriously OP your FML is about virgins and your account name is virginkiller did you make an account just to write a FML?

34- that is true, but unlike many causes of erectile dysfunction in men, that sexual dysfunction in women isn't influenced greatly by the mind. Whether or not a man is soft or hard is greatly influenced by the mind. If a man is nervous about losing his virginity, than his non sexually arousing and fearful thoughts will keep him soft.

43 you can enter a custom name if you aren't signed in or if you don't want people to know it was your FML

43 - If you submit an FML but don't have an FML account/aren't logged in/etc., it asks you to come up with a name.

The two of you should go and seek help together. Stop thinking with the head in your pants! (-_-)/

43-You sir, are an idiot

Ya it's a little ridiculous.

You're an ass. This shouldnt be an fml. And since you made it one clearly your self centered and your biggest want from this "relationship" is some pussy.

You're*

79/81: I suppose all of your romantic entanglements have been strictly platonic, then, yes?

79 - What makes you think that's all he wants? For all we know, he could have been dating for a while and both of them felt like they were ready, except for her phobia.

15- sounds like you know from experience

shut up.

116- if I experienced everything that I had a knowledge about, than I would be a one messed up mother fucker. Knowledge does not equal personal experience.

so maybe she thinks she has this thing because she DOESNT wanna waste it on you when you prob fuck off after anyway maybe she wants it at marriage IF YOUS aren't already married or doesn't want to till after years being together to make sure after all it's not a fml you have to respect it no matter what

It could be worse. She could have haphephobia.

I don't think phobias are illnesses, but don't they at least qualify as disorders?

Holy freaking Jesus man, learn to punctuate please, and while you're at it, form a coherent argument. All I see is 'blahblahblaRAAAAAAGEblahblahblah.

178 That was the dumbest argument you could have given. I think we would appreciate your comments more if you ended them all with "Just trollin'". This way we can all have a good laugh at how you fooled us into thinking you were a complete imbecile, rather than be frustrated because we know it to be true.

Sounds like a natural fear that the two of you can work through together to a mutually satisfactory result. Getting her to face her fear is important for your relationship.

Thanks doc

And in conclusion remember sex is your friend

So make her Un-afraid.(: show her that you love her, comfort her and support her. She will eventually come around, more men need to think with there brain instead of their dicks.

Amen to that!

But it's so hard.

I see what you did there

Their*!!! Sorry I had to, I was thinking with my brain that time. :)

Actually, I think it is *there*.

36- nope still thinking with your dick

Our dick has a brain js

We have been given two heads with enough blood to run only one at a time. Blame our maker.

What brain is that?

Ppl don't just get over phobias.

105-she spelled it wrong the first time but correctly the second.

If we think with our dicks don't hesitate to blow our minds

How does this comment have thumbs up? If the gf actually has a phobia she isn't going to just 'get over it'. And the men thinking with dicks was completely irrelevant.

21 - most genious comment ever! I laughed my ass off! You're awesome!

Agreed:)

I agree, but once blood flows to the dick, there's not enough left to help the brain function.

I agree. It's so pathetic how everyone nowadays thinks it's impossible to have a relationship without sex. My fiancee and I were together over two years before ever having sex and we are very happy together. If he just tells her sex or not he still wants to be with her and help her to feel good about who she is eventually she will decide she wants to get past those fear.

I don't understand your comment... You're chastising men for "thinking with their dicks" and yet suggesting that he help her overcome her fear of having sex?

But 2 heads are better than one!

I do. He means that she clearly has a problem because it's an irrational fear. So the guy can help her get past that by loving her and making her feel good about who she is, and then when the time comes when she's ready it'll happen. Just wanting sex by itself doesn't mean you're exclusively thinking with your genitals. Being willing to wait for the time when she is ready is putting her and your brain first.

21 - not as hard as you think it is right now, probably never is/was.

On the bright side, at least that's a fear one only has to get over once!

Unless you're the vampire from True Blood.

Poor Jessica :(

fuck it grew back!

Hopefully you can work it out. That REALLY sucks, FYL.

Well don't push her too much on it I think everyone has this fear just give it time

I'm stupid.

Yeah, I respect phobias and all that, but part of me says it's the same thing a lot of women have initially. I mean, unless she's been in the situation before, hard to tell

Phobias are much stronger than fears and are not cured in a moment.

I mean, let's say phobia of snakes. It's going to take a while, step by step of encountering them again and again before you get over it. With this, one session and the phobia can't exist anymore.

Should this really be an FML? This is a widely discussed topic on Fmylife I know, but you shouldn't be judging your whole relationship on the sex..

exactly!!!! Sex isn't everything in the relationship

7 & 38 isn't it sad how relationships now & days are all about sex & not really for love? Generations are becoming worst everyday...
-_______-

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

"Come on babe, it isn't sex if it is anal." *slap*

I said what what, in the butt

Show her you care & the relationship isn't just about sex.

True, but statistically speaking, sex is what holds relationships together. It's well known couples that actively engage in sex have much healthier relationships than those that don't.

Don't know why you got thumbs down if it's pretty much true. Oh well. Also, lol at the name of OP. "virginkiller"

That guy above you called you stupid!(just kidding trolls)

Either way, the end result is the same...sex is a huge part of a healthy relationship.

Sex isn't always a huge part of a healthy relationship, most people just want to assume it is. Not every relationship runs off a formula that says if X, Y, and Zed are true then the relationship will be a huge success!

216 They're speaking in generalities, its not a universal constant.

The problem with generalities is that everyone assumes and acts as if they ARE constants - especially when talked about as if they are fact.

But in this case the individual did specify that "statistically speaking" this is correct.
That said, you could still say it is a big part of a healthy relationship, but just because there exists some people for whom sex counts for nought, it doesnt make the statement wrong. The same applies to a lot of areas of sociology and health, for instance you'd say trust and honesty are a big part of a healthy relationship even though there exists people for whom this doesn't apply at all.

Sex is a healthy part of marriage, not a relationship. Do you know how many girls have sex with their boyfriend and then get dumped? Doesn't sound very healthy to me. You need to show a girl that you can carry a sexless relationship with her because you respect her. Sex can wait.

246 Just because some people do that doesn't mean that this happens even in the majority of cases. Sex and respect aren't mutually exclusive. People don't have to be abstinent to show respect for someone, and the phenomenon you're speaking of mostly exists because our society doesn't approve of non monogamous relationships - despite our biology. It is to be expected in teenage years because people are ruled mostly by their hormones, and tend to express a less refined side of humanity.

@ #240, I wish I could like this more than once.

At least you don't gotta worry about her cheating on you

She can still cheat on him without having sex. If I had a boyfriend and he did something so little as kiss someone else, I'd be pretty upset.

85-"if I had a boyfriend" lol that's great!

110-Why is that a great statement? I agree with her entire comment, but fail to see why "If I had a boyfriend" is great.

I think he what he meant is that she's fair game to go after. >_> I could be wrong.

He's implying that she said "if she had a boyfriend" meaning that she doesn't, and it's because she gets upset when her boyfriend kisses other girls.

As if it's the norm to let your boyfriend run around makking out with other women and she is an over-controlling witch.

I think 110 thinks it's a great statement (hes being sarcastic) because she doesn't have a boyfriend and doesn't know the situtation so he thinks she has no room to talk. But I agree with 85