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fingerhut United States

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

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fingerhut 3

running is the best solution to constipation

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Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Top comments

ThatGuyRory 9

That's what Tabloids are for nowadays anyway.

roafteth 4

Lolol, at least it wasn't as bad as it could be, there will probably soon be another fml story from the guy whose yard you used

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Comments (125)

mackdeezy 22

this happened to me once coming back from the store.... except I barely made it.... believe me, that shit was a close call.... no pun intended.

Girlygirl1226 7

Ah! A dog sh!t in my yard!...wait...that looks more human...

jbloogle 10

That's called the urge..

mgates27 3

Who jogs with a newspaper?

dogpup4 23

OP went out to the shops to buy a newspaper, and jogged while they did it... Just think a little bit next time.

abbasgirl 3

84, I get the impression that you've never gone for a jog before if you think it's perfectly reasonable to jog for 20+ minutes with a newspaper in your hand. Get out there and try it and you'll see what I mean.

dogpup4 23

Regardless of what its like, no-one would just take a newspaper with them randomly. And thanks for that remark, was it a hint that I need to exercise more?

Honestly_Lainey 21

Most people learn this before age 5: Use the bathroom BEFORE you leave the house. You should write that down.

picturescrazy 24

This happened to one of my family members too. I feel so bad for you, OP! That hast to suck hardcore

ddgafd 6

I know how that feels. We once had a school sport event at a field around two miles from the school itself. There were no bathrooms there, and I really, REALLY had to take a dump. But if I went back to the school, I'd miss my bus. So I had to walk back to the busstop, take a ride on it, and then walk home before I could shit around an hour later. Was not fun. At all.

ndnpride88 25

Sounds to me like you had a "SHITTY" situation lmfao

bubo_fml 11

I thought only Navy Seals did the whole "jog with a log" thing...

KiddNYC1O 22

Who would do that? The nerve...