By Lewis - 16/12/2018 18:30 - France - Paris Getting through life like: Life is a race... With hurdles... while wearing flippers 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/12/2016 18:28 - Israel - Petah Tiqwa Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 6541 You deserved it 1483 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By man2 - 23/9/2010 11:18 - Ireland Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was unsuccessful at a job interview, and she didn't want to be with someone who "has no future". She's unemployed too. FML I agree, your life sucks 36965 You deserved it 4028 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - 1/6/2011 08:09 - Singapore Today, the elevator in my apartment building broke down. I live on the 30th floor and am still climbing the stairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 38123 You deserved it 4368 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nickolas Neffster - 5/10/2011 00:14 - United States Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML I agree, your life sucks 33961 You deserved it 3086 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Doomy - 7/1/2010 14:43 - United States Today, I was going to the bathroom. As I was about to wipe, I noticed that the toilet paper had butterflies printed on it. Never before had I felt bad for wiping my ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 10247 You deserved it 29786 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Awks - 30/11/2012 06:30 - Australia - Bendigo Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML I agree, your life sucks 27923 You deserved it 6054 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lindsey Taul - 22/12/2017 22:00 - United States - Granite City Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 4112 You deserved it 253 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SmittyJA24 - 20/5/2014 02:38 - United States - Lewiston Today, my idiot sister had to have her aged dog put down, then she posts on MY Facebook page, "RIP, Buddy, we'll miss you." My adult children and most of my friends thought I died. FML I agree, your life sucks 48654 You deserved it 4709 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/6/2014 15:36 - Afghanistan - Kabul Today, thinking we'd still be able to finish our project in time for tomorrow's deadline, my work group put off doing any work until today. When we logged into the website we have to use, we found it was down for maintenance all day. FML I agree, your life sucks 23700 You deserved it 48311 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unknown - 7/2/2014 14:18 - United States - Lamoni Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 59426 You deserved it 21249 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 15/6/2014 19:22 - United Kingdom Today, I found out that my wife has had more sex in the last two months than I have in our last year of marriage. FML I agree, your life sucks 66849 You deserved it 6347 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DB - 23/2/2009 02:29 - United States Today, my parents met my boyfriends parents for the first time. Bailing us out of jail. FML I agree, your life sucks 16698 You deserved it 61182 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/2/2012 18:07 - India Today, I accidentally told my mom to ejaculate the flash drive from the PC. FML I agree, your life sucks 20427 You deserved it 25861 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kikinemo - 16/1/2010 21:05 - United States Today, I was telling my cousin about my boyfriend, who plays guitar and sings very well, has dark hair, and wears girl pants. After telling her these things, she's quiet for a moment before she looks at me and says, "So... You're dating a Jonas brother?" FML I agree, your life sucks 10909 You deserved it 43532 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/12/2015 05:44 Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML I agree, your life sucks 9636 You deserved it 25852 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sparks - 13/3/2011 07:39 - United States Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 28638 You deserved it 14926 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By santasadiekins - 17/8/2011 17:25 - United States Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML I agree, your life sucks 34521 You deserved it 4821 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anthony - 16/8/2010 01:40 - United States Today, I broke up with my girlfriend due to the fact that she's been cheating on me with my best friend for the past year. She said I was overreacting, and to grow a pair. FML I agree, your life sucks 43816 You deserved it 3850 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fuck you walmart - 26/4/2013 22:03 - United States Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML I agree, your life sucks 51101 You deserved it 3400 169 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By izazbouletz - 7/7/2019 22:00 Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. After chatting in a pub, we went for a walk at the nearby marina. He tried to have sex with me bareback behind a lighthouse. FML I agree, your life sucks 1799 You deserved it 701 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FuckMyEyes - 26/12/2012 01:49 - Australia - Sydney Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of brain bleach for Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 33605 You deserved it 8177 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jimmy_poison - 9/2/2015 00:19 - New Zealand - Hamilton Today, my date bumped into her ex-husband, who decided to join us for the rest of the dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 37091 You deserved it 2907 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By runner - 14/11/2009 07:15 - United States Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 31802 You deserved it 3737 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 27/5/2016 19:09 - United States - Lady Lake Today, my husband was being obnoxious, so I jokingly sprayed him with the dish hose. The floor got wet, and he slipped and busted his knees. Our daughter rushed over to him to see if he was okay, then slipped and busted her head on the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 13540 You deserved it 7013 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 21/8/2015 05:55 - United States - Truckee Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML I agree, your life sucks 25282 You deserved it 5397 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By carebear1228 - 1/7/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML I agree, your life sucks 55904 You deserved it 4746 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 7911 You deserved it 41794 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 26/5/2011 17:54 - United States Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML I agree, your life sucks 37540 You deserved it 3401 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Michael - 25/10/2011 15:00 - Australia Today, while taking pills for a headache, I threw my head back to help get the pills down, and in the process, whacked it against the brick windowsill behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 26829 You deserved it 15555 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 12/4/2016 02:38 - United States - Glen Ellyn Today, an old friend of mine texted me, saying we should hang out. I thought it was really sweet and was excited to see her again, until she realized that she was texting the wrong person, and canceled our plans immediately. FML I agree, your life sucks 20411 You deserved it 1308 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HelpPlease - 11/2/2016 23:18 - United States - San Francisco Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. Midway through the speech I'd prepared, I fainted and hit my head against a wall. FML I agree, your life sucks 20425 You deserved it 2595 37 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By worksucker - 5/7/2011 05:34 - United States Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML I agree, your life sucks 28450 You deserved it 7461 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By foolishgirl - 25/2/2009 18:41 - United States Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML I agree, your life sucks 16856 You deserved it 73832 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/9/2009 14:37 - United States Today, I had my 3 year old son in the doctors office. During the exam, he informed the doctor that he doesn't sleep in mommy's bed anymore because mommy sleeps in her underwear and farts all night long. FML I agree, your life sucks 42122 You deserved it 8546 47 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guyssuck - 26/2/2013 19:11 - Canada - Yellowknife Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML I agree, your life sucks 39105 You deserved it 4694 110 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FriutlessApple - 11/10/2013 15:18 - United Kingdom Today, feeling bored and lonely, I drove into town to wander around the shops and go to Subway for lunch. While there, I picked up two trays and put one on the opposite side of the table, along with some of my rubbish, to make it look like I was with someone. FML I agree, your life sucks 37454 You deserved it 11025 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 4/3/2010 17:15 - Estonia Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML I agree, your life sucks 39427 You deserved it 10337 273 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhoopteeDooDoo - 12/10/2011 22:47 - United States Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML I agree, your life sucks 39190 You deserved it 4945 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By singingintherain - 1/7/2017 20:00 Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 5797 You deserved it 668 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - 1/6/2019 16:00 Today, I learned that bees like to get out of the hot sun, too. And that they do this by crawling into people's bed sheets. I also learned that these bees don't like it when you go to lay down in your own bed. They don't like it at all. Now it hurts to put weight on my right butt cheek. FML I agree, your life sucks 1646 You deserved it 309 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined... I agree, your life sucks 692 You deserved it 67 4 Comments
Today, I lost my virginity. Today, I also learned how to fake an orgasm. Twice. FML I agree, your life sucks 643 You deserved it 331 7 Comments
