By Lewis - France - Paris Getting through life like: Life is a race... With hurdles... while wearing flippers 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lol - Canada Today, I was making breakfast. My microwave door was already open, but I couldn't figure that out so I kept pressing the button. According to Einstein, I'm now insane. FML I agree, your life sucks 9021 You deserved it 30289 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By livin - United States Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML I agree, your life sucks 47055 You deserved it 5907 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By newniece - United States Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39863 You deserved it 2527 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By grovage - United States Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML I agree, your life sucks 5724 You deserved it 80148 177 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lizzie - United States - Rockford Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML I agree, your life sucks 21436 You deserved it 53146 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sadmom - 18/3/2020 05:05 What are you doing here? Today, I found out the man I have been dating is my son’s principal. I found out by having to pick my suspended son up from school. FML I agree, your life sucks 1553 You deserved it 371 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MegGRRRz - United States Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML I agree, your life sucks 7793 You deserved it 56845 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Japan Today, I'm on vacation in Japan with my brother. When he said he could speak Japanese, I guess what he really meant that he's a dumbass weeaboo who only knows the words "kawaii", "baka", "sugoi" and a few others. He ended up offending two locals so much that they beat the shit out of us. FML I agree, your life sucks 27863 You deserved it 3335 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By giantsfan2010 - United States Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML I agree, your life sucks 18476 You deserved it 28536 212 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nevasurprised - Germany Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML I agree, your life sucks 8810 You deserved it 42696 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML I agree, your life sucks 62677 You deserved it 4742 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jjcod - United Kingdom - London Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML I agree, your life sucks 41191 You deserved it 10164 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NeedMoreFriends - United Kingdom - Wakefield Bye Felicia! Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances." FML I agree, your life sucks 28994 You deserved it 2358 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sickasadog - United States Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML I agree, your life sucks 5670 You deserved it 662 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Harry641 - United Kingdom - Hounslow Today, I got accused of ruining my girlfriend's birthday, all because I accidentally got her the same birthday present as her mother did. FML I agree, your life sucks 21269 You deserved it 1499 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DumbLackofLuck - United States Today, I waited until the last minute to do my Christmas shopping. Today, I also discovered that my bank account has been frozen due to suspicious activity. FML I agree, your life sucks 28745 You deserved it 8931 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stupid - United States Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML I agree, your life sucks 8733 You deserved it 68417 124 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jaivolétonnez - France - La Courneuve Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML I agree, your life sucks 30385 You deserved it 6990 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By magicman - Canada Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML I agree, your life sucks 34569 You deserved it 17430 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/2/2021 17:01 Alexa, play "Unhappy Birthday" by The Smiths Today, my sisters took me to a gay bar to celebrate my birthday. All was going well, until the drag queens demanded anyone with a birthday on stage. My sisters forced me to go. Turns out, it was for a twerking contest. I can't dance and have social anxiety. When I got off the stage, I cried. FML I agree, your life sucks 1011 You deserved it 122 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IDPlease Today my job started requiring all transactions regarding cigarettes or alcohol to have the ID scanned before proceeding. There is no way yo bypass this function. I carded a 60 year old man and his 40 year old son who both yelled at me for 10 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 2833 You deserved it 168 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gali-ma - Australia Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 32401 You deserved it 3588 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tristan - 30/7/2020 02:01 Send message Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML I agree, your life sucks 1195 You deserved it 304 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Guuu - France Today, I aimed at the little blue thing placed at the bottom of the urinal. I learned the hard way that it splashes off it and makes little blue stains on jumpers. FML I agree, your life sucks 9296 You deserved it 22312 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jinx - United Kingdom - Dorchester Today, I got a stern talking-to from the police about threatening and harassing people. Who had called them? None other than my stalker, whom I'd just informed about the restraining order I was filing against him after finding him in my house. For the second time. FML I agree, your life sucks 4135 You deserved it 206 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SadOral Today, my wife fell asleep. I was giving her head at the time. Her snoring gave it away. FML I agree, your life sucks 2436 You deserved it 824 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United Kingdom Today, I invited my very animal phobic boyfriend over. I have a dog and a rabbit, who are always well behaved so I insisted they wouldn't do him any harm. My dog peed all over his shoes and my rabbit furiously humped his leg and wouldn't let go. He's now even more terrified of animals. FML I agree, your life sucks 32609 You deserved it 12119 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike Messenger - United States - West Palm Beach Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML I agree, your life sucks 47561 You deserved it 3440 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unfortunatelyunlucky - United States Today, while parked at school, someone broke into my car by smashing the window. I called the police and they informed me I could drive it to the local station as it was an easy 2 minute drive. As I was driving there, I got pulled over for driving with a smashed window. FML I agree, your life sucks 36971 You deserved it 2587 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML I agree, your life sucks 26045 You deserved it 2889 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Portland Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML I agree, your life sucks 15451 You deserved it 45807 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was in a dating auction. I was bought for $2. The man who won a date with me recited every dialog from the movie The Lord of the Rings. FML I agree, your life sucks 34541 You deserved it 8313 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - New Zealand Today, my dad came up behind me with a pair of scissors, and pretended to snip away at my hair. I was sure he was joking, so I just sat there and didn't react. Later, I felt the back of my head and looked at my hand. Suffice it to say, I now have a large bald patch on the back of my head. FML I agree, your life sucks 36098 You deserved it 6692 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thatgirl - Canada - Richmond Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML I agree, your life sucks 17580 You deserved it 4796 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I heard water splashing outside of my house; I investigated it, only to find my dad, whom I don't live with, syphoning gas out of my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 39993 You deserved it 2961 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WaxOnWaxOff - United States - Denver Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML I agree, your life sucks 25345 You deserved it 9628 204 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Des Moines Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college fund to pay for my cat to be flown to LA and audition for a movie. FML I agree, your life sucks 69350 You deserved it 4070 118 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - Canada Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me for a chick I shared a hospital room with for 2 months. I introduced them. FML I agree, your life sucks 39639 You deserved it 3746 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Guy - Romania - Bucharest Today, my girlfriend dumped me after I told her I found out I have diabetes. She thought it was an STD and I had cheated on her. So I explained what it really was and she dumped me again because she didn't want her future children to inherit my fucked up DNA. FML I agree, your life sucks 30547 You deserved it 2047 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Marietta Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML I agree, your life sucks 51234 You deserved it 3400 272 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 533 You deserved it 37 3 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 849 You deserved it 298 6 Comments
