Today, I tried to go to bed on time, complete with going to the bathroom and not eating several hours before bed. I dunno why but for some strange reason I was woken up by my own flatulence. Again. I hadn't eaten several hours before bed to prevent this. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, my date from the night before let me stay behind when he had left for work. While relaxing, I figured I'd be fine to let a little fart out. Unbeknownst to me, not eating enough food over the past few days turned the contents of my bowels to liquid. I sharted on their bed. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Gut biome changed in absence of nutrients and this can cause it to consume less preferable nutrients. You may take a hiatus from eating, doesn’t mean bacteria does…
Yudith 28
It takes several hours for you to finish digesting your food. Try to avoid legumes, cabbage, and other food that makes you fart at dinner.
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Comments (2)
tiptoppc 21
Gut biome changed in absence of nutrients and this can cause it to consume less preferable nutrients. You may take a hiatus from eating, doesn’t mean bacteria does…
Yudith 28
It takes several hours for you to finish digesting your food. Try to avoid legumes, cabbage, and other food that makes you fart at dinner.