Today, I was getting one of the best blow jobs I have ever received. My girlfriend was getting into it when I heard an "uh oh". Her tongue ring got twisted around the hair close to my balls. She started to pull, I started to scream. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were doing the deed when she suddenly said, "Hold on babe, I think my nose ring fell out." After she couldn't find it for a minute, she said, "I'm sure it's on the bed somewhere." Immediately after that, she yelled, "OH MY GOD, I JUST SWALLOWED IT." FML
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Top comments
Clapdaddy 16
Shave. Problem solved, never worry about it again.
manb91uk 22
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Comments (17)
donb23 23
Another good reason to shave one's pubs.
Guy Oakley 8
I guess you’ll starts shaving down there now. You think she likes flossing while she eats?
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I've heard of a rim job. Is this called a ring job? Some new sex thing I haven't heard about?
saberjpg 6
As Leon Phelps, the ladies man, would say "Yeah, that is disgustin'. You need to take care of your situation down there if you want a lady to do business with your wang. Just trim it up nice, and afterwards, have a nice glass of Courvoisier."
TeachAllTheMath 19
Hopefully she just took off the tongue ring before trying to untangle it from your man fur.