By BeboKhaos - 04/08/2009 02:37 - United States

Spicy
Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML
I agree, your life sucks 65 655
You deserved it 9 477

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OUCH D: I hope your spermcount is still okay!

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OUCH D: I hope your spermcount is still okay!

trade marked "the nutcracker" or "speed nuts" objective: to improve finger reflexes Description: like a speed bag for your fingers one ball for each index finger (boxing- speedbag) Real life situations: no use to your fingers whatsoever EXP 4 points for each stop you get from your boyfriend. Risk potential cock block 40% ruin the mood 99% reward: better mood for him 1%

29, just wow, i think i have played way too many video games. cause im pretty sure i understood what you just said. epic win though.

I don't hope his sperm count is okay. I don't want some guy that got his balls smacked and complained about it, yet can't even spell "ball sac" correctly, repopulating. Be happy you got a BJ, you prude.

Wow, your a dick and a dumbass. Ball sack is spelled with a "k" you dumb fuc. P.S. I know fuck is spelled with a "k." Didn't think your mind could handle sarcasm without further explanation.

you're an idiot too. you are = you're not your. get it? got it? GOOD :) have a good day!

uh oh an english major

Ohhhhh--look out for the grammar Nazi...her comes her whinebulance "WHA ,WHA, WHA, WHA, WHA"

dandymidori, I'll bet she was a Marine! Nice callback! Congrats on "first!"

yes, because being able to spell = intelligence.

oldskoolman... how old are you? i'm 16 and even i know ball sac is spelled WITHOUT a 'K'. haha, you must feel like a moron now!

yeah but saying" you are mind" or as you so insist "you're mind" would be just wrong....sooo they are correct saying "your mind" ...just saying.....think before you criticize.

ok that fml made my day and the comment made my day even better i fell of my chair laughing

You can spell it with both a k or without a k...

repopulating? you mean reproducing? repopulating would mean that the world's population is low and we're trying to make it higher.

lulz yeah tell me about it >.>

All this complaining about spelling and grammar and no one bothers to capitalize the first word of their sentences. Well most people don't bother.

haha thats awesome. sucks but it's hilarious all the same. totally give your girlfriend a high five for me? xDD

like my 9 month old sisters WITTY CLITTY

Actually, it does... It's called 'Education'. Usually literature is the highest form of education - at least it used to be - and the most abused. Just an FYI.

And this is an FML how? lol

you shouldnt be having sex at 14.

haha why not, i use a condom

It's a little disturbing to know that you and your fourteen year old girlfriend are having sex. Good for you for using a condom though.

Why you're having sex at 14 is beyond me ... Jesus. My best guy friend is 23 and still a virgin. and NO he isn't prude or gay .. only safe and smart. And yes. I just called you dumb #3 :) EDIT; Not that gays are bad. I'm bi.

its kuz i can and i love my girlfriend :] haha that sux for your friend but i would waited til i actually loved my girlfriend to fuck her

no one cares if youre doing it or not, plus its over the internet i could say im the presidents daughter and no one can prove that, but if its true, wow youre cool. "hey guys i 'love' my girlfriend, so im telling the world were having sex, and yes im only having sex with her cuz i love her not so i can tell people i have." idc if youre doing it, thats cool, im down with it, but announcing it on the internet bc youre young does not make you cool it makes you a pathetic loser FYI.

17 r u overweight?

You're 14 mate, you don't know what 'love' is.

#17 are you a moron?

You know, I'm not much of a prude myself, but even with protection... 14 just seems way too young to me. If you truly love her, you can wait for the fuck. Blowjobs and other alternatives are fine (see: facials, titty fuck, etc), but c'mon, you don't need to grow up so soon... not that bragging about sex on the Internet when you're 14 is very grown up at all. Besides, you don't know shit about love at 14 anyway lol Just saying, you pretty much don't know shit period at 14, but sex and love most definitely. Ah well, FYL for giving it away so quickly and feeling the need to brag about it on the net. It doesn't suck her friend is still a virgin. How do you figure? Virginity isn't some plague you need to cure immediately. Figures a fucked 14-year-old would think that... like I said, don't know shit about sex and love. Though the "he's being safe and smart" comment was stupid in itself, too, of course. Just because you reserve yourself doesn't mean you're not going to get an STD. @OP: YEOWCH! Tell her that hurts, man! At least, I hope you did. Well, at least she knows you're not into kink? No dominatrix for you eh? lol... you'll be laughing about this eventually.

-- or get someone preggers (damn edit limit). I suppose for a girl it could be considered "smart" since usually it hurts, so you'd like to wait for a somebody you can really connect with and thus feel secure enough to have a quick sob and/or snuggle. Wouldn't say it's any safer though. I mean, it's true "the best birth control is self control" ... it doesn't mean all condoms and pills and whatnot are COMPLETELY useless. So yeah, 17, I see what you're saying, but you lost me there.

I agree completely

Don't repopulate. We don't need any more dumbasses.

#43, I completely agree with you. 14 is way too young. Wtf is wrong with people and their mindsets, seriously.

@#37 What has love got to do with slapping someones balls? That's fucking pain!

He's probably some white trash that's parents had sex at 14 and had him. Loll and yeah, sonny, you totally know what love is at 14. I've been through middle school and high school, do you know how many teens think they 'loved' their gfs or bfs? A lot and they end up breaking up in about a month. Lolll teens these days, so pathetic.

@113...youre just proving how stupid you are..triple layering condoms just makes them easier to break dont be a fucking dumbass

Oh, it's you! You're the same dude who was bragging all over that FML with the twelve year olds, and the kissing, and the 17 year old, and the not kissing. It's seems you need to keep your 'romantic' 'exploits' to yourself, cause, face it: most people on the internet don't care about that shit.

@ #37: Even though that's probably true more often than not, it's not always necessarily the case. You can't say that someone doesn't know what love is just because they're young. It's unfair to stereotype an entire age group like that. Physical age =/= maturity.

Apparantly millions of people around the world think Juliet was in love, and she was 13. I agree that it's immature to post your sex life in the net at 14, but don't diss the love just because he's young. Some adults don't know what love is either, but think they have a right to tell people younger than them that they don't know what they're talking about.

@#3 probably hasn't had sex in his life let alone a blow job. OP: Sucks for your balls, but look on the bright side, you still got a blow job.

Juliet is a fictional character, for one And two, yeah, she was full of shit. The love itself was full of shit. Ever actually read it? It's so bullshit cheesy I can't hardly stand it, and "Oh I can't live without my "significant other" so I'm gonna kill myself!" - the fuck is that? OHHH ROMANTIC, YEAHHH, definitely... seriously.

Well his friends probably screwed some girls and he was sick of being the wussy virgin in the group. Happens. But yeah, it's kind of sickening as well.

@ 175 how am i full of shit? and im sorry but i didnt find the joke funny i think the least you could do if youre trying to get uneducated dumbasses to stop procreating would be to give them advice that would actually stop them for reproducing, not flood the gene pool with more uneducated dumbasses.

Yes DameGreyWolf, I've read the play, or else I wouldn't be using it as an example. I'm simply trying to say just because you're young doesn't mean you can't be in love. I'm sick of all these self-righteous people getting on teenagers, saying they can't fathom what love is. I mean, I'm not uber-young (like 14) or anything, but come on, it can get just a little repetitive.

@ 22: LOL you think you know the first thing about love? Please. If you two really loved eachother, you would have waited to have intimate relations. I'm sorry but if you think you're in love at 14, then you must have some issues. P.S: It's really lame to brag about things that never happened *hint hint* OP: Ouch, I hope you told her that hurts. Sorry about that, maybe it'll be better next time. :')

He doesn't have issues, he's just a normal 14 year old idiot. And because he is one he doesn't know how to express his affections that he mistakes other than boning. PS: Enough 14 year olds are having sex these days where it's not that unlikely

37 ahe I'd just a number

Yeah except in Juliet's time women gave birth at her age. This isn't the freaking Italian renaissance. The maturity of people today has dropped profusely, but because we don't die at 40 anymore, we have time to mature later. Instead of being thrust into it by being preggers at 13. I agree with you, SOME young people can understand love, but using Shakespeare as an example just makes your argument sound dumb.

haha my gf knows how to give a good bj and were both 14 :] sux for you and ur life is fucked up ahha

If your 14 you should not be getting bj's

Being 14 and being sexually active is not something to brag about. And if you are 14, then you probably don't even know what a good blowjob is.

no your life is fucked because you just bragged that you and your gf do bj's and you're 14! I, myself, am 14 and I am way more mature than you two, shame on you people making us other teenagers look bad!

Well, I guess your girlfriend sucksatblowjobs. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH~

You do know that very few people here will get this joke right?

You'd be surprised, Tubasaurus, I know I was.

Is this supposed to be fun? Because it isn't.

So now bitch slapping your nuts goes in the same questionnaire as "do spit and swallow?"

LOL!!!!!!! Yes. I agree with #1!!

Someone needs pointers in blow jobs...

Perhaps she looked up the wrong definition of the word 'blow' before doing the job.