Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend stuck his finger in my butt and I liked it, but I can’t ever tell him that or he’ll get that smug look on his face like, “I told you so, let’s have anal now.” FML
Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around in his car. I then decided I was going to give him a blowjob for the first time. As I was going down, he grabbed my chin and said, "Don't do that, your mouth isn't clean enough." FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
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Top comments
alexphyllis 5
Better make sure he washes his hands first from now on, especially if they're up his ass.
SerendipityRose 26
If you guys go as far as having sex, when he enters, you should say, "Huh, feels like my pinky finger."
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Comments (121)
grudger 14
Wtf did I just read
exhaleMyLOve 0
Wtf lmao thats just wrong
SarahElizabethhh 0
He's cheating on your ******.
olop135790 2
He would know
karen1991 15
Comparing viginna's to assholes. Totally a straight thing to do. You shouldn't be worried at all...yet.
LegendofZelda88 8
dafuq did I just read?
squirto101 2
Hahaha! I had the same thing, except he told me it was too wet!!! WTF??
worldclassrager 41
Does he have lady parts or something? If he can't tell the difference that's pretty sad
kitfriggencloud 3
I convinced my ex to let me finger his butthole, then I found gay **** on his computer..he left me to find what I assume is something bigger for him.
kevingirl 6
first of all....getting dirty? that suggests to me you're not ready for sex