Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I met this guy I really liked at a party. We got chatting and then hit the dance floor. We had a "moment" and I went in to kiss him. He shot forward with his tongue already out. His eyes were open. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML
Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML
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Top comments
thereitgo 1
that's not that creepy? it's not like the guy who said "Soon your belly will be plump with my seed." licking leads to oral.
disadvantage 0
What's wrong with that? Seems fairly normal.. depending on how far towards the feet he wanted to go. At that point it starts to get weird, IMO. SSC, you're a lame ass. Go get a ******* job or a girlfriend or something. Being the 1st responder on FMyLife is worth absolutely nothing in this life.
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Comments (211)
jaca6614 0
Umm...how did this make it onto the site? Licking someone's leg is...not really that weird. I mean I guess it was kind of lame that he asked first but that just shows his lack of balls, it's not an FML moment. I mean seriously, if you think this is an FML, you must be used to a REALLY boring sex life. Seriously, how did this make it past the moderators? This is probably the lamest FML I've ever read.
YouDontSeeMe 0
well it's a lot better than "can I pee on you?"
crowbar729 0
do what?! and while he's licking... seriously, whats the problem, and why is this even in fml
haulkeel 0
What was your answer?
ShannonBAMF 0
Dude, SO not an FML. That's a win in my book.
j8ey 0
blam this crap
ronnidee 0
i say it's a win. at least to me ;)
GrapefruitZoe 0
I would say after like seven months of dating...hot.
Kitty34_fml 0
This is what you get when you f*** strangers ?
SophiaC07 0
SO.....?