By qyx3lmnop24 - United States - Napa Classic move Today, while hanging out with this guy I'm interested in, we turned and made eye contact. We were face to face and I thought he was finally going to kiss me. He decided to lick my face from chin to forehead instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 38320 You deserved it 5049 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - Floda Today, after nearly six weeks of seeing a nice girl, we finally decided to make it official. Two hours later, she pulled out a bridal magazine and not-so-casually asked me which wedding location I thought was the nicest. FML I agree, your life sucks 35383 You deserved it 4233 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Jeromesville Today, a friend invited me to christmas dinner since I have no family close by. When I got there she told me her and her husband forgot they had another dinner to go to and asked if I would watch their kids for them. They each grabbed a handful of cookies I had baked and rushed out the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 39024 You deserved it 2875 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By markzar - United States - Amherst Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML I agree, your life sucks 27663 You deserved it 2305 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Smile - France Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 13436 You deserved it 31237 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Whoopsx99 - United States Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 13779 You deserved it 48816 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The Bearded Woman - Canada - Kelowna Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 32821 You deserved it 2870 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thesitter - United States Today, while babysitting, I gave the boy a pen and paper because he wanted to draw me. When he was done, he let me see but then said, "Wait! I'm not done." He took it back and basically colored in the arms. I said, "I'm not wearing long-sleeves." He said, "That's hair." FML I agree, your life sucks 50222 You deserved it 8128 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Inthedumps - United States - Jerseyville Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML I agree, your life sucks 44803 You deserved it 3588 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PaePae - United States - Columbia Today, I found out that I'm sensitive to the NuvaRing. It felt like I was a buffet for fire ants. FML I agree, your life sucks 1608 You deserved it 143 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/3/2020 02:00 - Netherlands - Bergeyk Cheap-ass lying bro-bro! Today, I found out my boyfriend is booking my dream vacation to Bali with his brothers, 6 months after he told me we couldn't go on vacation this year because he doesn’t have the money. They planned this within a week. I had been planning it with him for months. FML I agree, your life sucks 1732 You deserved it 154 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lou - United Kingdom Today, I went to the supermarket; it was taking me ages to walk home because of the heavy food bags. Halfway home, I realised I had gone in my car. I had to walk all the way back to get my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 12524 You deserved it 58548 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sweet - United States Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 91194 You deserved it 5415 215 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nevercatchabreak - United States - Burgettstown Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 52003 You deserved it 4246 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML I agree, your life sucks 52806 You deserved it 4516 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 28/1/2021 05:02 Best Baby Names of 2021 Today, my boyfriend has had name ideas for his future son and daughter even before I met him, but so have I. He disregards my ideas and suggestions, and is hell bent on giving our kids names because he likes "the way they sound." 'Hippopotamus' sounds good, but who’d name their kids that? FML I agree, your life sucks 812 You deserved it 127 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WeldedShut Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML I agree, your life sucks 3745 You deserved it 8111 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 7/9/2020 05:32 - India - Mumbai Haircut, haircuuuut Today, I came to the decision that I needed some variety in my life, so I decided to get a haircut. My mom insisted that she could do it and that she had experience because she cuts my dad's short hair. I had thick, long hair. Now, my hair is uneven, ugly and short. FML I agree, your life sucks 1029 You deserved it 648 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 2/2/2021 07:58 Simps gonna simp Today, I just found out that I was missing almost $500 from my debit card. Turns out my brother used my card to simp on a streamer. When I confronted him, he said, "But you would have simped on her either way." FML I agree, your life sucks 735 You deserved it 98 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 13:58 Bad timing Today, my best friend's parents posted her wedding date on Facebook. My best friend got engaged a few months after I did. The only wedding plan I have come up with so far is a Fall 2022 wedding. My best friend is also planning a Fall 2022 wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 428 You deserved it 662 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jada - United States Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML I agree, your life sucks 37247 You deserved it 3730 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By familyfued Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 5686 You deserved it 380 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kitkat3308 - United States Weirdo freak Today, I found out that my controlling, verbally abusive ex-boyfriend from nearly four years ago is still obsessed with me. Apparently, he's told everyone back home that he and I are getting married as soon as I finish college. We haven't spoken in over two years. FML I agree, your life sucks 48020 You deserved it 3056 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML I agree, your life sucks 31877 You deserved it 6375 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Baskets-Tailleur - France Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML I agree, your life sucks 48407 You deserved it 4871 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shitballs_911 - United Kingdom Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39277 You deserved it 12301 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thanksalot - United States Today, I told my girlfriend that my grandma died, expecting to be comforted. She got mad at me for "stealing her thunder" because her cat died two days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 50780 You deserved it 4475 189 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charlie - Australia Today, it was raining. I was out walking with my girlfriend, and decided it would be cute if we did a bit of dancing in the rain. As I was swinging her around, I swung her head against a lamp post. She broke up with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 44376 You deserved it 21062 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML I agree, your life sucks 3655 You deserved it 687 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Forgotten Birthday Girl Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 4848 You deserved it 263 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By murphyslaw948 Murphy's law Today, I fall for a guy after 3 years of being celibate, after he shows all the signs of being into me. Turns out, he likes my best friend who is dating another guy I liked and was just using me to compensate for her unavailability. Guess I am really a walking, talking example of Murphy's law. FML I agree, your life sucks 1835 You deserved it 211 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Leenotgay - United States Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML I agree, your life sucks 35249 You deserved it 3633 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By matte - Australia Today, whilst working at Subway, I took an order for 6 footlongs. The entire process took 15 minutes due to the customer's hesitant and glacial pace. When it came to paying, he pulled out his wallet, looked inside, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the store. FML I agree, your life sucks 93194 You deserved it 4905 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML I agree, your life sucks 14605 You deserved it 33393 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blind - South Africa Today, I was texting a friend of mine. She mentioned it was her dad's birthday. I typed "Tell him Happy Birthday for me!" and as I pressed send I remember her dad was dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 24352 You deserved it 46599 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mark - United States Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML I agree, your life sucks 35697 You deserved it 2575 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States Today, I went with my girlfriend to her parents' house. They told me I smelled of cheap vodka. When I told them I worked in a bio lab and used ethanol a lot, they said I was too stupid to do anything like that. My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents think I'm a drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 65748 You deserved it 3398 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bareital - 3/12/2020 04:01 - United Kingdom Commando Today, the same day I decided to stubbornly go commando because my lazy boyfriend hasn’t taken his turn to do our laundry in 4 days was also the day I split my shorts squatting down to pick up my bag at the bus stop. Ten strangers saw my bare asscrack, and two teenagers started cat calling me for my butt tattoo. FML I agree, your life sucks 1001 You deserved it 871 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alone in ND Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML I agree, your life sucks 2094 You deserved it 182 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ginger - United States - Owensboro Today, I got married. My dad wanted to see me before the ceremony in my dress. The dress I wore was not my usual kind of dress, strapless. The first thing my dad said, "Ginger! You've got boobs!" Not exactly the father-daughter moment I'd envisioned. FML I agree, your life sucks 4900 You deserved it 491 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous My husband's passion Today, my husband loves his cat more than our new baby daughter. This morning he spent 2 hours playing with the cat, yet when I handed him his flesh and blood daughter, he found an excuse to hand her back after 5 minutes, then 5 minutes after that, he was playing with the cat again. FML I agree, your life sucks 1697 You deserved it 334 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 171 You deserved it 72 3 Comments
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without... I agree, your life sucks 358 You deserved it 75 4 Comments
