Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
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Top comments
glostik 0
Smooth... Here's some advice: Don't go to her house ever again. Why? Because her dad will be waiting with a baseball bat and you, you will be DEAD. So yeah.. Don't go to her house!
GraceMonica 8
shulda just watched some ****...
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Comments (56)
WonderBlunder 0
@#11: or c) they were having fun with the vibrating phone.
ashblueeyez14 0
next time you text someone wait for a reply BEFOR sending another text
lifesabitch18 0
haha i agree with # 6 it would be in your best interest to never ever see her dad for as long as you live or try to play it cool and say your asshole friends took your photo and photoshopped it and sent to your girl as a joke maybe he'll believe that but i hope your a fast runner in case he decided to go with the original plan and tries to kill you
tipsy337 0
fail
Piejamas 0
text him back saying they weren't for his daughter ;)
ellajanson 5
lol!!!!!! finally a funny one lol
GodsOfWrath 0
This is why parents should not get their 13 year old daughters cell phones... because of middle-aged wierdies like this guy.
arichan_fml 0
dude she's probably a teenager with a dad who (like mine) doesn't want to admit she's growing up. but still, OP deserves it because that's disrespectful to a girl who had morals. if his gf doesn't, then congrats, OP, you're dating a *****! >.<
fringle 0
I said ydi right after "I was feeling horny"
tf90 0
Dude I'm so sorry. Hahaha I've always been scared that sort of shit would happen to me. Or I'm just scared I'll send an inappropriate text to someone else.
RagePX 0
go there, punch that guys face, bang the chick and her mom and never call again ! that douche deserves it for writing you a gay poem "step away from my little girl" >.< he should have said smthg like "ill rip ya head off punk!" peace out
Link5794 18
**** you.
glostik 0
@RageXP I don't know who you are trying to impress with your gangster shit, but you aren't impressing me.