Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML
Today, I was sexting my boss. I realised that I wasn't texting my boyfriend after I'd sent 2 nudes, and received many sexually provocative responses. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
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Top comments
glostik 0
Smooth... Here's some advice: Don't go to her house ever again. Why? Because her dad will be waiting with a baseball bat and you, you will be DEAD. So yeah.. Don't go to her house!
GraceMonica 8
shulda just watched some ****...
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Comments (56)
Tech_N9ne 0
mynmaeislolz HAHAHAHA
jmoose311 3
Why tf are you sending nasty text messages to little girls? How is this in any way, shape, or form a FML? YDI, and you should be locked up in jail.
Stormmetal1 0
its probably like a 14-17 year old girl and it was her Dad on the phone and dads still call their daughters their little girls at any age. My Gf's dad calls her his little girl all the time and my uncle calls his daughter (my cousin) his little girl
im_a_dinosaur 0
how the **** did that happen. hahaha
Bearish 0
same thing happened to me get over it bro
Compass 0
Today, I was feeling horny, so I jacked off. MLIA.
WilAllExpert 0
your lucky that's all he said! lol
arichan_fml 0
ydi for disrespecting a girl like that.
Mifflicious 18
Why is that disrespectful? For god's sake, they were in a relationship!
areanii 0
You honestly ARE super lucky. My dad would have straight up drove to your house and got you with a baseball bat, and then let my (very strong) uncle have a whack at you.
Porcupine011 0
This is so off topic but I love ur Hair!!!
sniperkit 10
....Marcus? >_>
sadiesue17 0
This is a prime example of why you shouldn't sext.