Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend and told him how smitten I was with him. He responded by giving me a wedgie. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
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Top comments
4rmMiami 4
May the force be with you
SkoomaKi 28
The horniness is strong with this one.
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Comments (128)
KiiwiiRox 6
Hahaha your boyfriend is awesome! He's just trying to have a little fun.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That is amazing.
ebonyirony 29
That's why I thought. It's like fyl for not liking it.
sougstad 7
And your problem is??
flutter4 7
I know! At least the man has a sense of humor and he doesn't have a stick shoved up his ass.
bjoernabee 1
"come to the dark side, i have a penis"
AH1Zviper 15
Welcome to the dark side... Are you surprised I lied about having a penis?!
DocBastard 40
I hope you were wearing a gold bikini under your clothes.
ElatedEarthling 15
He is the true Dark Lord of the ****.
Larawk 8
Should have waved your hand in his face and told him "these are not the boobs you're looking for"
Blackyx3 7
Awesome... I like this guy
niplipsip 9
**** his life for being with someone so humorless. The Darth Vader thing? funny and cute as hell. Lighten up a little, OP.
Zdoggg 4
Word. The things people say Fml about...
Zdoggg 4
Why does every moment of couch cuddle time have to be romantic? Laughing is better sometimes and it's on her to know his type of humor before dating him
niplipsip 9
34 - She put an innocent cuddle moment on fml. If she really thought it was a "**** my life" moment, she's definitely humorless. Think about it.
ASD_K 11
I laughed, I admit.