Intimacy: Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed...

By IllJustGetYouASweaterThen - 04/08/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 450

You deserved it 4 196

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By trolls have hit the gutters - 17/02/2015 18:23 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 618

You deserved it 4 629

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 810

You deserved it 6 807

By ugly - 11/06/2012 12:01 - Australia

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 475

You deserved it 3 583

By ManInPain - 12/07/2011 16:46 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 124

You deserved it 4 906

Take it where you can

By charapos - 26/10/2021 11:00

Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 10/07/2012 16:43 - Canada

Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 254

You deserved it 2 457

Pissed to meet you

By Anonymous - 09/08/2015 01:23 - United States

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 529

You deserved it 3 158

Consider the offer

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 113

Cruisin' for a bruisin'

By leah - 07/01/2021 14:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 28/01/2011 11:44 - United States

Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 461

You deserved it 3 325

CheaRight 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:28

hot.

Phase 0

Wednesday 4 August 2010 16:43

what part of trashed homeless lady doesn't put any of you off??

Comments

UsernameTaken14 18

Sunday 24 November 2013 0:21

Hey, at least she's forward with you. ;)

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 8 July 2014 4:58

Creepy...did you run very very far away?

bassfisher100 23

Tuesday 13 January 2015 15:15

take a compliment :)

jacqleeen 11

Tuesday 17 November 2015 5:02

It's ****** up that this is a joke since a woman said this to a man. If a man said this to a woman it would never have been funny.

Keywords

Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Miscellaneous Fish Food Camping Health Holidays Vegan Ableism Love Video games Geek Gamers Parents Relatable Painful Customers Mental health Tattoos Annoying Transportation Bikes Motorbike Accident Art Money Concert Family

The Top

Today, my house was set on fire, courtesy of my ex-girlfriend, who found out that I have a new girlfriend. Most of our belongings are now reduced to ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 83

Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 780

You deserved it 46 309

The Top

Today, I learned that my hair color is classified as "Buttered Toast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 283

Today, I was so sad and lonely that I drunkenly masturbated to Game of Thrones scenes featuring Petyr Baelish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 879

Today, my work decided to fire me. Three days ago, I sat down with my boss and asked if they could fix the sewage leak in my office, and maybe look into how loud it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 68

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 521

You deserved it 29 595

Today, I let my 5 year old play on my tablet while we were both using one of those family restrooms with two toilets. She took a selfie showing both on us on the toilet and sent it to my husband. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1 703

You deserved it 1 268

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 573

You deserved it 22 898