Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a homeless guy told me I looked like shit and to have some self-respect. Right. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML
Today, I got called beautiful for the first time in forever. The lady who called me beautiful was herself very pretty and VERY drunk. FML
Today, while I was walking home alone, a homeless man approached me and took me by the hand. Apparently, he's been watching me for weeks and has fallen madly in love with me. He told me not to worry, though, he's "not a rapist." FML
Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I was beaten up by a complete stranger for “giving her a dirty look.” I can’t see my own face. FML
Today, at work, a homeless woman called me trash, threw her coffee at me, and told me to get a job. I do have a job. It's homeless outreach. FML
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Top comments
CheaRight 0
hot.
Phase 0
what part of trashed homeless lady doesn't put any of you off??
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Comments (135)
thebrand25 0
lol that fml did like a nosedive
gummibloo 0
omg
takemytrollz 0
It was probably Amy Winehouse.
ugwmii 0
gross
PineaplePerson 0
Once in a lifetime oppritunity. Just saying.
Sargon_of_Akkad 0
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find..." A homeless lady willing to rape you?
jxcala 10
This is absolutely hilarious.
bearsfan37 0
Don't go to WalMart anymore
MisterMuffinz 13
hobos ftw
dakins 0
lmao gee poor u.......... handsome is a compliment. I wanna rape u isn't. even ur compliments are insulting......