Work: Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic... - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 45

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 138

25/07/2014 12:05

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 092

You deserved it 53 960

Send a private message

Saturday 26 July 2014 2:43

I am a design engineer. My boss is good looking, but married. I apologised the next day, she said no hard feelings, pun intended. 'she's very funny'

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Walk the line

Not quite there yet

Great boyfriend, part 2

By thanks a lot - 04/05/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend made me a latte. It tasted off, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I drank it. Turns out he put laxatives in it as a prank. The idiot couldn’t just use one or two. He used so many that I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration after puking and shitting for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 779

You deserved it 183

Work name

By Van - 09/11/2019 05:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 711

You deserved it 439

13/06/2011 16:37

Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 546

You deserved it 41 849

31/03/2016 17:20

Today, the head chef at work yelled at me for not knowing the difference between two sauces. I couldn't win the argument, even after a coworker admitted to filling both bottles with the same sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 024

You deserved it 1 310

09/11/2014 02:36

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 447

You deserved it 3 346

04/01/2011 14:49

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 591

You deserved it 3 154

26/04/2018 01:30

Today, my boyfriend decided to fart in our bathtub to see if it would echo. It wasn’t a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 412

You deserved it 385

Thanks for your help

By wowthanksworld - 22/03/2013 15:42

Today, I was on the subway when I felt like I was going to faint. I got off the train at the next stop, walked to a bench, but fell over and passed out. When I woke up, I looked around at at least 25 people, who had stepped around me, passed out, in the middle of the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 017

You deserved it 3 253

Keep your distance

By Oddy - 17/11/2020 05:02

Today, I travelled by myself for the first time. I was seated next to a middle-aged man who was trying to convince me that I was his soulmate, kept touching my face and sniffing me. I'm 19 and it was a 6 hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 64

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 880

You deserved it 3 925

13/04/2017 02:00

Today, someone in Fedex typo'd "KZ" for "NZ" and sent our fencing weapons to Kazakhstan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 391

You deserved it 245

11/02/2014 21:50

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 574

You deserved it 6 494

07/03/2011 03:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 891

You deserved it 4 622

25/08/2013 19:28

Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 319

You deserved it 2 707

29/06/2009 09:44

Today, I was rushing to get on the train to work as I heard the "door closing" beeps. I was about to step onto the train when a man pushed me out of the way so that he could get on. My handbag fell out of my hand into the carriage. I stayed on the platform. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 989

You deserved it 3 111

Alright bruv'?

By zetuga055 - 15/10/2021 14:00

Today, like I do once a week, I put my bins out to be collected. I was woken up in the early hours by a drunk lad outside, claiming he was desperate for a waz. The sound of him pissing in my food waste bin will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 61

The best cat

By Nyxilia - 07/12/2019 17:00

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 307

You deserved it 625

09/12/2009 22:19

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 917

You deserved it 2 671

You snooze, you lose

By Jaymail - 17/05/2020 17:00

Today, I saw some really nice dining room chairs sitting out on the curb waiting for the garbage man. I went to the door to ask the owners why they were throwing them out. They told me it was because they had just bought new furniture. While I was talking to the owner, somebody else picked them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 474

18/03/2009 22:42

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 509

You deserved it 27 013

24/01/2010 05:21

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 268

You deserved it 7 365

He protecc

By arianelagolden - 04/08/2016 07:27

Today, I saw our boss, visiting from the USA, press the button on the coffee machine, probably thinking a cup will drop automatically. I grab a cup in the cupboard and put it under the now pouring coffee. Next thing I knew, I'm lying on the floor, my boss's bodyguard on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 096

You deserved it 1 335

17/07/2015 23:04

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 664

You deserved it 3 440

25/10/2016 05:06

Today, our family reunion began with my sister calling my brother's current crazy girlfriend by his last crazy girlfriend's name and ended with my dad telling my adopted niece that he wanted a family picture without her in it, but she could be in the next one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 798

20/10/2010 04:41

Today, I went to the doctor's for the third time in a week for a huge growth under my jaw. I have seen an urgent care doctor, an emergency room doctor and an ear, nose and throat specialist who all gave me different diagnoses. I've so far spent $300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 2 952

26/07/2015 17:55

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 031

You deserved it 2 139

05/12/2018 14:30

Today, my 1 month old kitten peed all over my kitchen floor. I wanted to get some water out of one of drawers and slipped on the piss. My phone shattered and i dislocated my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 592

You deserved it 409

21/07/2009 10:42

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 753

You deserved it 12 676

10/03/2013 07:52

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 987

You deserved it 9 187

03/07/2013 04:26

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 680

You deserved it 3 673

29/11/2016 21:51

Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 035

You deserved it 1 861

Gamers rise up

By Anonymous - 30/04/2021 06:01

Today, I went over to a guy's house. He had almost no furniture and slept on a mattress on the floor; however, he had the most impressive gaming computer I've ever seen. He's 40. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 181

Help!

By Agonised - 29/05/2021 00:01

Today, I went to the hospital for crippling back pain that made it impossible to walk. The doctor was more interested in telling me off for not taking a pill that he admitted doesn't help acute pain. He then gave me an injection that wore off in an hour, and sent me home, telling me to take over the counter meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 64

That'll do

By worstaunty - 04/03/2020 18:01

Today, I had to pick my 2 year-old nephew up from day care for the first time. When the lady asked me who I was there to pick up, I realized I didn't know his actual name because we all call him "Bebe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 2 128

16/06/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 473

You deserved it 762

01/01/2017 08:59

Today, I was tailgated on the highway. There was a car in the lane next to me, and my tailgater was WAY too close to risk slowing down, so I sped up in order to switch lanes, which bumped me over the speed limit. That's when my tailgater turned on the flashing lights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 368

29/07/2015 17:07

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 688

You deserved it 1 610

Oh the times, they are a-changin'

By toelie - 06/11/2017 22:00

Today, as two of my students walked into my classroom, I said, "Hi, ladies". One of them screamed at me: "Did you just assume my gender?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 017

You deserved it 575

29/07/2012 05:27

Today, I learned that if you go through your best friend's phone, you can find sexy texts and nude pictures between him and your girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 906

You deserved it 5 047

25/08/2016 02:20

Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 260

You deserved it 983

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Top comments

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:35

Getting a raise.

Ley135 20

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:33

No size jokes so I guess you'll be alright lol

Comments

Ley135 20

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:33

No size jokes so I guess you'll be alright lol

urdirtyolduncle 15

Friday 25 July 2014 19:23

That comment was small in the entertainment department, just like OP's penis.

mz135 12

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Friday 25 July 2014 19:29

Well. Ok then

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Friday 25 July 2014 20:48

Not according to the one who said it was impressive.

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Saturday 26 July 2014 4:24

#60, your comment was completely unnecessary.

Friday 25 July 2014 18:34

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

LifeAlertTwerk 14

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:34

Well, she did say impressive.

TheCrispyCat 20

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:42

What about his idiot?

PenguinBitch 43

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:42

It's *you're. You called someone an idiot and misspelled it twice.

skittyskatbrat 19

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:59

I really hope that was intentional irony? "You're" funny!

tbro47 23

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Friday 25 July 2014 19:04

Your should be you're as in you are the first two times

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Sunday 27 July 2014 17:25

Damn Captain obvious thank you for your input

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:35

Getting a raise.

jerryj 27

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:36

What kind?

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Friday 25 July 2014 19:31

Both

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Friday 25 July 2014 22:43

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Saturday 26 July 2014 6:02

In more ways than one

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Tuesday 29 July 2014 21:16

If you know what I mean

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:36

What were you sketching? And how did you not notice -- Don't tell me you had a boner.

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Friday 25 July 2014 19:48

I've seen so many FMLs of people taking videos or pictures while naked and it always ends with them accidentally in the shot. Seriously, either check the photos or don't take photos naked!

Arwen_Evenstar 37

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Friday 25 July 2014 21:35

I assume the times they didn't get their nakedness in the shot, didn't make it to FML.

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Saturday 26 July 2014 17:28

Photobombing dick.

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Saturday 26 July 2014 22:24

Right, he didn't notice lol.

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:36

Your boss sounds awesome lol, I'm assuming it's the gender you prefer, and you might as well try get in there lol.

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:36

Well why were you drawing naked in the first place?

TheCrispyCat 20

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:43

Maybe because he wanted to?

igive 29

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Friday 25 July 2014 19:01

In GTA3, theres a line on the radio that says "I was born naked and I will die naked."... Maybe he lives by this philosophy too.

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Friday 25 July 2014 20:58

I do everything in my home naked. If I am home, I am naked. The OP is working from home, maybe he is most comfortable naked.

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Friday 25 July 2014 21:52

Maybe it's hot where he lives but his building predates AC. Happened to me a few times when I lived in big cities!

LibertyLife20 20

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Friday 25 July 2014 22:12

Gotta be free

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Saturday 9 May 2015 2:22

It is a writing technique some people use. It is believed by many psychologists that what you wear and surround yourself with can influence how you think and act. For example: It is recommended that you dress up for phone interviews so that you feel the part and remember to be professional. Also for writing or drawing being naked is said to free you completely from most influences and helps creative flow and possibly helping you find new perspective.

ilovefatcats 12

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:37

atleast she didn't flip out about it?

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:37

Maybe you should have checked the pic before you sent it.

SWhimsynBubbaS 14

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:56

Unless it was an intentional attempt for a raise or something. Smart thinking, OP, smart thinking.

abhi95 31

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Saturday 26 July 2014 0:41

Shoulda, woulda, coulda!

charleycheeks 6

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Saturday 2 August 2014 8:08

You don't say

blueiceninja 13

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:38

I believe this is one where we need a follow up.

20minutesto9 23

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Friday 25 July 2014 18:40

Your dick being in the picture is something you definitely should have noticed, but on the bright side at least your boss didn't seem to be too bothered by it.

skittyskatbrat 19

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Friday 25 July 2014 19:00

That was an awesome response by the boss...could have been really bad instead of just taken in good humor. Boss sounds like a good one to work for!