Kids: Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring....

By Anonymous - 19/04/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5-year-old girl and we were coloring. She made me a card that was very sweet, so I smiled. She looked at me and went "Don't smile, your smile is really scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 710

You deserved it 5 296

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By BondingTime - 17/03/2014 09:51 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 034

You deserved it 4 116

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 869

You deserved it 3 805

Creepshow

By Hipnog - 07/11/2015 14:33 - Czech Republic

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 528

You deserved it 2 700

By silverstar189 - 01/01/2010 15:41 - United States

Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 248

You deserved it 4 021

By Anonymous - 22/11/2010 16:33 - Australia

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 416

You deserved it 4 079

You had to ask

By hii - 01/03/2009 20:29 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a one year-old. She'd just learned how to say yes, so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said, "Yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty. She looked at me and said, "NO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 545

You deserved it 14 669

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 135

You deserved it 3 514

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 432

You deserved it 31 256

By drewcaver - 12/04/2015 19:49 - United States - Houston

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 663

You deserved it 2 318

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 22:46 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 2 698

bnomis 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:14

Aww, what a precious little bitc- I mean girl. I love kids, but I couldn't eat a whole one.

HurriKaty 4

Monday 20 April 2009 0:16

BRB, lolling forever. I'm sorry, that's hilarious. Don't take it too seriously, 5 year olds think tons of things are scary.

Comments

Mgm_Eboy 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:20

No Offense But I Had To Laugh Out Loud!!!!!

fjonslife410 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:20

"Your smile is scary" "No cookies for you!" lol

Seegtease 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:25

Maybe you should work on that smile. It's possible for a smile to be scary, you know.

MukyDaCookie 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:26

Ahahaha, that;s terrible. Kids say the funniest things. (I couldn't spell darnded) Lol #12!

lowcapacityx 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:27

AHAHAHA you should've thrown down a tickle fight. I'll show you a scary smile. Kids are whatever don't take it up the grill.

BigLord 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:33

At least now you know you can easily cosplay The Joker :P

Shanny_fml 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:47

omg for the first time ever something I moderated was posted here! lol I thought it was useless moderating- guess am wrong.

padlarf 14

Monday 20 April 2009 0:49

Does anyone one else get fed up with these "a child said something unpleasant about me" FMLs?

ramdoodle45 0

Monday 20 April 2009 0:52

haha 5 year olds are so perceptive. they were able to sense a sexual predator just by your creepy smile

klutzywriter 0

Monday 20 April 2009 1:04

I thought this one was okay, but yeah #19, i'm getting annoyed by the same type of FMLs too.

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Health Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Food Revenge Boredom Animals Cats Management Parenting Kids Sexism Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Facebook Jealousy

The Top

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 76

Today, a guy for whom I did a design job told me he would only be able to pay me in 3 weeks. I told him that it was OK, as long as I didn't have to follow him around to collect my money. "Don't worry, I know the feeling," he said, "I used to run an illegal business." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 2 171

The Top

Today, I discovered that you should always unplug the electric mixer before licking the beaters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 364

You deserved it 66 244

Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 052

You deserved it 5 074

Today, I was fired for the second time in as many days. I received a letter notifying me that I would no longer be working for the company, effective immediately. When I did not attend work the next day, I received a phone call firing me for not turning up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 904

You deserved it 2 671

Today, I had a barbecue. My boss won't believe me tomorrow when I tell him that the main pages of his 2-months worth of work file helped make the best sausages I've ever cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 217

You deserved it 30 774

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 976

You deserved it 7 757

Today, I realized that my mom has not had a date, or had sex, in 50 years. I've become her 'Husband-Son'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 181