Work: Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason,...

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 192

You deserved it 4 210

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/08/2013 21:34 - United Kingdom - Newcastle Upon Tyne

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 021

You deserved it 5 403

Poot

By dumblonde76 - 14/09/2021 07:00 - United States - Jackson

Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 381

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 719

You deserved it 7 422

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 606

You deserved it 9 156

Squits

By fishtities - 07/04/2016 04:56 - United States - Dallas

Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 708

You deserved it 1 745

Jeremy?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 22:00

Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 266

By tori210 - 15/08/2017 16:00

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 472

You deserved it 710

By badbowel - 31/01/2018 13:00 - United States - Utica

Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 872

You deserved it 299

Am I a ghost to you?

By AJ. - 19/08/2021 14:01

Today, at work, I thought I’d sneak a wee fart out, but ended up shitting myself. I just left work without telling anyone, went home, showered, then went back to work. No one missed me being away for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 348

No exit! No choice!

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 03:00

Today, I was driving my car when I suddenly got diarrhea and shat my pants. I put a plastic bag under me to not let all the shit go through my pants and get to my seat. Then one of my workmates saw my car and came to say hello. She saw all the shit and the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 253

You deserved it 301

skilova4lifezzz 19

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:15

Tell the cashier to mind his own business and leave your shit alone.

Trym 7

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:16

Sounds like you should have sacrifised a sock!

Comments

tanekdrachonae 19

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:11

Sorry about your shitty day OP.

ThatFancyPenn 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 2:13

Welcome to FML, where this pun isn't even considered a pun anymore.

ohnowhyme123 15

Wednesday 1 January 2014 3:34

You must of had a crappy day!

JustinKirby 20

Wednesday 1 January 2014 4:24

Didn't #1 just attempt that pun?

jolie21 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 5:36

I just have to say what's on my mind. This reminded me of the buy more ^^ awesome show!

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Wednesday 1 January 2014 8:00

It's not going to work if it failed for the person before you!

onlychildFTW 33

Thursday 2 January 2014 14:03

No shitty jokes. Jeeze man.

skilova4lifezzz 19

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:15

Tell the cashier to mind his own business and leave your shit alone.

\ 28

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:56

Hopefully, he got some laundry detergent with it.

dingleberrysteve 6

Wednesday 1 January 2014 18:13

the smell encompasses you

yerbduebeenehe 16

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:15

"Care to explain why you've shit your pants, sir?"

HKCgrimmjow 15

Wednesday 1 January 2014 1:10

I think he just did actually.

Trym 7

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:16

Sounds like you should have sacrifised a sock!

dachayke 16

Wednesday 1 January 2014 0:02

*Sacrificed. Remember, grammer are important.

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 1 January 2014 0:43

What the shit, grammar is important*...

HKCgrimmjow 15

Wednesday 1 January 2014 1:11

Sorry #25 but you can't say grammar is important and then **** up the word grammar. That's just a douchebag move...

djkazic 5

Wednesday 1 January 2014 1:21

He was being sarcastic, look how he used 'are'.

ThatFancyPenn 18

Wednesday 1 January 2014 2:15

I'm laughing my ass off at this FML. The actual one itself, and the comments. How do you guys not get that it was sarcasm?

Trym 7

Wednesday 1 January 2014 3:05

Well, sorry for not beeing english, and typing in a hurry with an iPhone set to norwegian autocorrect, and then slipping on one letter. :)

arandomusernameaa 20

Wednesday 1 January 2014 13:00

Go away grammar Nazi!

ThomasBombadil 31

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:16

I think there is a country song about this. If not there should be.

TheRoyalDog 10

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:22

"Have a shitty rest of the day, Miss!"

TheRoyalDog 10

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:33

I am ashamed of that comment

ilovefall10 21

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:26

OP, I know your pain. It's never fun having a upset stomach, and trust me, I suffer from IBS, so it happens a lot.

hopsinlove17 26

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:28

Everybody gets sick OP, no need to feel super embarrassed. I hope for your speedy recovery(:

DeviOomaki 9

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:30

Hope you feel better soon OP

bessiemay01 5

Tuesday 31 December 2013 23:31

Why would you keep going to the store? I'd turn around and dump the crap in the pot and hop in the shower.

honeymoonroyale 20

Wednesday 1 January 2014 3:48

Lol yeah, I'm pretty sure there was a shower around lol

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Work Cars Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Roommate Sex Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

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I agree, your life sucks 21 151

You deserved it 39 590

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 636

You deserved it 42 714

The Top

Today, I started my new job at a fragrance store. While training, the manager had me smell all of the scents to become familiar with the products. Before my shift was over, I'd had three asthma attacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 262

You deserved it 5 745

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I agree, your life sucks 6 699

You deserved it 593

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 5 316

Today, I asked my husband, of only a year, why we don't have sex anymore. He said it's because he masturbates. When I asked how often he did it, he replied "Every day that we don't have sex..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 128

You deserved it 9 734

Today, after months of job searching, I finally got a call about one of my applications. I wasn't able to answer it, but he left a voicemail. I've listened to it over and over, and I can't understand the contact information. He called from a restricted number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 698

You deserved it 1 943

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 734

Same thing different taste

Poot

Squits

Jeremy?

Am I a ghost to you?

No exit! No choice!

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