Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
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Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
Tell the cashier to mind his own business and leave your shit alone.
Trym 7
Sounds like you should have sacrifised a sock!
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Comments (68)
JMichael 26
We've all been there OP. Well I haven't. So I guess not all of us.
pwnman 33
Sounds like he's divorced.
kc_bbg15 14
That made no sense at all
skittyskatbrat 19
In such a situation...you take off your underwear and wipe with it. You can go without it; it's not fun nor sanitary, but it beats the heck out of having crap on your legs and having the store clerk possibly cleaning up some very foul drips! And if you have to, you sacrifice socks, too. Even strips of printing paper would have helped. Sucks to be you, it's a total FML, but when you look at a possible worst-case scenario (crapping in public with a mess for others to clean up...) you sacrifice the undies ;)
EmpireCityRay 13
You deserved it! Next time go to a big store (Target, Wal-Mart) and buy a 20 pack or more and keep it in the bathroom. Now some poor store staff has to deal with your lingering dookie stench :P lol
dachayke 16
So you're telling me that you've never run out of toilet paper before?
EmpireCityRay 13
Once! But I was smart enough to grab tissue I had in my pocket I carried to clean my nose. It's a store, they or their boss should have bought a bulk amount for this same reason (in an emergency) He can blame himself and his colleague for not checking for sufficient tp prior to opening the store. BTW thanks for trolling at every post I write *sarcasm*
cowgirlonacid 4
18- Just cause you can by tp in bulk does not make it an endless supply.
buckdharma 38
You realized before you crapped there was no tissue? On the way to buy some there arose an issue? At least there's no one there at work who can dismiss you.
saxaddict122 14
Shittiest poem I've ever read
kc_bbg15 14
Please tell me that you didn't have a huge brown stain!
picante72 24
Screw the stain, just throw the pair away.
Xotoolyxo 16
No Kleenex boxes around?
buckdharma 38
Tell your boss that due to poor planning you had to clean up a lot of shit. "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." and all that crap.
CrazyMelvin 14
You should have stayed home if you were sick. You could have passed the bug on to others. YDI
Blahblah9921 4
um ur a moron #27 maybe her boss couldnt let her go idiot !!! sorry to hear op