Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML
Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML
Today, I had a rumble in my tummy whilst picking up groceries. I tried to let out a little poot, but ended up shitting in my pants. I had to leave without the groceries. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML
Today, as a reward for starting to eating healthy, I got the squits at work. After going to the restroom, my stall didn't have toilet paper, the other two stalls didn't have any either. My boss definitely noticed too when he walked in on me with my pants around my ankles. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I shat myself in the middle of Walmart. It dripped out the bottom of my pants till i made it to the restroom, which was on the other side of the store. FML
Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML
Today, I was sick from both ends at work. My boss wouldn't let me go home, and told me to borrow a pair of spare pants to change into. I suffered another bout of gastroenteritis and shit someone else's pants. FML
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Top comments
skilova4lifezzz 19
Tell the cashier to mind his own business and leave your shit alone.
Trym 7
Sounds like you should have sacrifised a sock!
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Comments (68)
ZeroG57 25
You couldn't have let it out behind some bushes instead?
142_cats 13
Why didn't you just go to the janitor's office and stole some? Was it locked? I hope not. But tell that employee to mind his own shit.
lennykravitz 1
Instead of taking the risk knowing your stomach's gonna payout soon, why not just stay in your bathroom and wash yourself with soap and water for once without toilet paper?
BayAreaBum 1
Napkins or paper towels dummy
cmb8280 24
Wait... You shit your pants and then proceeded to go to the store? Who does that?! You should've just gone home, OP. No one would have blamed you at that point.
TcheQ 12
So. No paper towels? None in the opposite-sex bathroom? No bosses-favourite-tie? Please.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
I must say these fml are getting funnier and funnier tonite.
hockey_girl22 4
It's coming out of me like lava!
farmboy555 7
Paper towels from the break room might have been a better choice OP.
pandabear111787 14
Too funny!